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We’ve made it through a lot of ups and downs over the last month or so, and for the most part everyone is getting along. At least Noah and Cohen are getting along with everyone. They’ve made the biggest effort to legitimately get to know Ren, even though I hurt them with my actions as well.
Matteo and Ren are still struggling the most. If you didn’t know them and they didn’t have the same damn face you wouldn’t assume they were brothers because they refuse to even attempt to build that relationship. How they act towards one another isn’t like brothers, but more like disgruntled co-workers who are forced to be on the same team. I can’t say they aren’t trying at all, though. They are both at least makingsomeattempt to make it work for me; it’s just the absolute minimal effort possible.
It’s a little scary how alike they are at times, stubbornness included. If they could both just pull their heads out of their asses, we wouldn’t have a problem. But they can’t see past their own ego at the moment, so we’ll keep tackling things little bits at a time.
Though I’ve remained intimate with all of them, we haven’t had everyone involved in those hot and heated sexy times since the gym. It’s a little disappointing because that was probably the only time I’ve seen them all come together willingly to do something. Not to mention the stupid amount of satisfaction I got from it.
I’m stuck in my own daydreams of the hedonistic acts when I feel lips at my neck, a seductive citrusy scent and Matteo’s gravelly voice in my ear.
“You need to get ready for dinner tonight, baby. The boys and I have planned a big dinner and show for you.. We have a special surprise for you.”
“Okay, I can make that happen. Can I ask you something first?” I turn to look him in the eyes. He’s the one I’ve been worried most about. He’s the one who’s kept his walls up the strongest. Fortified them more if that’s even possible. He’s certainly the one who’s been caught the most off guard and had to adjust his perspective in the biggest way. He’s sharing me with a brother he didn’t know he had. That’s got to be something he never saw coming.
“You can ask me anything. You can always talk to me. I’m sorry I’ve made you doubt that since I got you back. I know I’ve been a nightmare to deal with. I’m not exactly the best at dealing with my feelings. I’m better at choking them down.”
“Are you kidding me? ‘Teo, do you remember how hard it was for us to startourrelationship because I’m such a stubborn bitch? This is all my fault. I really handled things so badly. I should’ve at least warned you or something about Ren-”
“Stop. If you had warned me that you’d fallen for another guy, let alone my brother - my fucking twin… I wouldn’t have even come. I would’ve gotten in my own way and let go of the best thing to ever happen to me out of petty jealousy. Ren doesn’t change things for me when it comes to you. Sure, we have a lot to work through before we’re all one big happy family, but that’s our beef and we’ll work it out. There is never going to be a moment of my existence when I don’t love you Alessandra. I need you like I need air to breathe. We all do.
“Now that I understand things, I can admit that I understand why this all happened the way it has, and why Ren thinks the way he does. I may not like it, but I sure as shit understand it. I’m willing to deal with it, as long as I get to keep you in my life. One day, you’ll be my wife. That’s not going to change either. I’m so fucking proud of you for allowing yourself to grow and handle all of this with the strength you have. You are still every bit the fierce woman I first met; only now you’ve learned how to open your heart and accept happiness. I’m just thankful you’ve looked beyond the jaded mindset you were so locked into and have allowed yourself to trust your journey. You’re lighting the way for us all through this darkness. Can’t you see that?” He looks down at me with raw honesty shining through his gaze and I’ve never been so thankful for the men I’ve been blessed with, which only makes the guilt gnaw at my gut even more than usual. I should be spilling the last of my secrets, but it wouldn’t be fair to the other guys to do it without them here. Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself to buy some extra time.
I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his face down to meet mine in a passionate kiss, enjoying the intimacy of this moment. I just wish I could make it last forever.
“Um, excuseme,bitch! How about a little love for your real main squeeze?! We know all these boys are just a sexy placeholder for the real deal… You know...me? We all know the truth!” SB yells at me from the doorway to the living room.
“What the- Oomph!” I get tackle-hugged by my best friend and we almost both fall on our asses. I’ve never been so excited to see another female in my life, though, so I’m not even mad about it.
“What are you doing here?” I ask without letting go of the death grip I’ve got her in.
“Dude, I freaking missed you. Did you forget that we were supposed to spend all summer together getting ready for our senior year? Senior year! It’s the big one that’s coming up, in just a couple months, don’t act like you’ve forgotten. Puh-lease! This is our time bitch and you know it. No one was going to keep you away from me. Even if heisa super sexy, brooding bad boy, beast of a man.” She wiggles her eyebrows provocatively at me.
I’m laughing so hard; I have tears running down my face and I can hardly breathe. Is this girl for real? Damn, I can’t believe how much I’ve missed her.
“How’d you know where to come? How’d you get here? God, I am so fucking stoked that you’re really here. A bitch can only take so much testosterone.” I wink at her.
“Yeah, uh huh… I’m so sure it was such a hardship getting dicked down by four hot dudes. Like three wasn’t enough. Cry me a river princess.” She mimes crying and we both crack up, leaving Matteo to look at us like the total loons we are when we’re together.
“I came here with your mom and grandpa. Ren actually brought us out here to spend time with you, though I have a feeling it was a group decision. I’ll stay way longer than I’m welcome of course, but I think your mom and grandfather are only here for the week.”
“Did you know this?” I swing my eyes to mister tall, dark and broody only to get a smirk and a nod in response.
“Where are they?” I ask, thrilled that I’m finally able to see my family. I need a dose of home. The guys have helped so much, but there’s something about having the last three members of my family here that makes everything feel like it might be alright again.
“C’mon boo, let’s go on a mommy hunt. I know she’s ready to see you and actually see with her own eyes that you’re unharmed and okay with the whole kidnapping thing. I’m pretty sure your gramps is in Ren’s office with him reading him the riot act. To be honest, I’d steer clear of that room. Both of those men are dan-ger-ous with a capital D. That’s a big fat no fucking thank you to being a fly on that wall.”
Oh fuck, none of that can be good. I wonder how much Ren has told nonno...
* * *
“Sweet girl!Oh my god, look at you. You’re glowing! Kidnapped and falls for her kidnapper? Your whole life is like a crazy story. I couldn’t write something this crazy. Are you sure this is what you want?” Mom looks deep into my eyes to judge my sanity. Admittedly, she has a valid point. My life is honest to god a shit show, but I’m working with what I’ve got and I’m cool with it seeing as how I get four hot alpha males that worship the ground I walk on. Plus, you know, I love them. Even if that isn’t what I ever expected.
“I’m good, mom. The beginning was a little rocky and I have to totally overlook the fact that I was basically sold like property, but just like with the guys, I don’t think I really had a choice in the matter with Ren. My heart knew before the rest of me did. Plus, I have plans for Lorenzo. Did nonno put the hit out?”
“You’ll have to ask him. You know I try to stay out of ‘the business’ as often as possible. La famiglia is not my thing unless you need me.” She grimaces and lets out an involuntary shudder. I know how much she hates this life. All she’s ever wanted was for us to be free of it. I know she hates my involvement more than anything, but at the same time, she understands that it’s just a part of who I am. It’s like I was created for this life.
“I’ll tell you right now though, if I get my hands on Lorenzo DeLuca before anyone else, he’ll wish he’d been taken out by someone who just wanted to make a quick buck and doesn’t care if he’s tortured or not. I’ll take his punishment from his flesh myself for hurting our family and fucking with my daughter. Just because I hate this world doesn’t mean I don’t know how to handle… business.” She smirks, but it’s an evil kind of smile. I know she can be a badass. I know how protective I feel over my family and the boys. I know my mother's love is unwavering and fierce. I can’t imagine being on the receiving end of someone who tried to fuck with her baby… again.
“Ahh, la mia luce! Come, come give your old nonno a hug, nipotina! I’ve missed you.” I turn to see nonno posted up in the doorway with a warm smile and his arms wide open and my whole heart finally feels full. I have my family here with me now and I remember what I’ve been fighting for this whole time. I know Ren’s grandfather has his own ideas, but I’m about to fuck them all up with a smile on my face.
