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His head angles to the side, and his eyes are on my lips. “Why?”
The question is so sincere and so startling that I freeze.
Because he’s selfish?
No, he’s not. I know that now.
Because he’s arrogant?
Yes, but not overly so. I actually kind of envy that about him.
Because he’s so big and terrifying?
He’s never hurt me, and I know he would never hurt me.
So then, why?
Because this is new. Because I’ve never done this before. I don’t know how. It isn’t safe. It isn’t familiar.
I can’t tell if the next words out of my lips are intentional or not, but out they come anyway. “Because I don’t know how.” I realize then that my eyes are trained on his lips. I can tell this because they’re moving closer as he leans his head down.
“To kiss or to be brave? Because I can help you with the first one, if you’d like?”
The question might sound arrogant on someone else. But he says it so gently, so openly—in such a way that I know he cares about the answer, and I know that the rejection will hurt. Because this time, he’s really putting himself out there.
He’s allowing himself to be vulnerable. For me.
And if he can do that for me, can I do that for him?
Kellyn’s body halts in front of me, just mere inches away. It takes me a few seconds to realize he asked me a question.
It’s completely up to me if I want to be brave or not. And he’s showing me the way.
“Yes.” The word is the barest breath of sound, but he hears it clearly.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
Kellyn is more gentle than I imagined he could be. When he lets his lips touch mine, the contact is so soft and expels the breath from my lungs. I wait for something to happen.
Does one suddenly understand how to kiss? Or does it take several tries before you pick it up? Should I feel swept up in feelings or something?
Because mostly I’m just terrified because I don’t know what I’m doing, and he’s just standing there. And is this supposed to feel this awkward?
As if he can feel the tension in me, Kellyn’s hands go to my face to steady me. No, to angle my head differently. And then his lips surround my upper lip, tugging gently. He pulls back and repeats the movement before turning his attention to my lower lip.
That’s when the change happens. Something clicks into place. I feel the tug of his lips all the way down in my toes. My fear evaporates, and there’s nothing but me and this boy.
And our lips.
And then I’m kissing him back. Because I get it now. And I understand why Temra always wants to sneak off to do this act. It’s wonderful and freeing and removes every other thought from my head.
No worries or fear. Just heat and lips pressed together, which turns into bodies pressed together. Kellyn angles me against one of the trees. And then he’s kissing me harder.
And I like that even more.
His hands slide from my cheeks to my arms, down to my hands, where he tangles our fingers and raises them high, pinning them to the tree above my head. The bark should be uncomfortable at my back, but for some reason it only makes this more exciting. Its sole purpose in life is to help me get closer to this boy, who has done nothing but protect me and try to understand me.
