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“I just told you I didn’t.”
“No, I mean—all the women you’ve been with. You didn’t know whether or not you both were being careful?” He could have children that he doesn’t even know about.
That thought makes my stomach turn sour.
Kellyn bolts upright in bed. He hauls me up after him, holding me at arm’s length so he can look me in the face. “All the women I’vebeenwith? Just how many women do you think I’ve been with?”
Oh, I hate this conversation: being forced to think about how much more experienced Kellyn is than I am. My jealousy is almost a tangible thing with the way it consumes every space in my body.
“With your pretty face?” I say. “You’re probably approaching a dozen.” And then I worry over my answer. Will he think it too low? Have I offended him?
Who cares, Ziva?
This is not the time to—
“Ziva, I’ve never been with anyone.”
My eyes fly up to meet his. “What?”
“Not a single person.”
“Oh. Butwhy?”
He laughs at the question. Then sobers. “Have you been with anyone?”
“Are you joking?”
“I didn’t want to assume—”
“You were my first everything, Kellyn. Well, noteverything. Yet.”
And then I feel the blood rush to my face.
“Oh no,” I say, burying my face in my hands. “I didn’t mean that,” I mumble between my fingers. “Please ignore—”
“Yet?”Kellyn snags on that word like it’s some tasty treat. “Did you have plans? I need to hear all the details immediately.”
I try to grab the covers to bury my face within them, but Kellyn wrenches them from me.
“I need to go… get dressed,” I supply, making an attempt to roll out of his bed.
But he will have none of that. He moves his big body, pressing me into the mattress, caging me in. “Ziva, please look at me.”
He’s hovering above me, with his delicious weight warming my whole body. I sigh, find my courage, and move my hands.
Only to have his mouth capture mine.
The embarrassment disperses like a match being struck, and I kiss him back with everything I have.
All too soon, he pulls away, resting his forehead against mine. “I love you.” He says those words again, and my whole body melts through the bed, pooling in a puddle somewhere beneath it. “Don’t hide from me. No more hiding. We’re past that, aren’t we?”
“I suppose,” I say.
“Even when you say such beautiful words. I never thoughtyetwould become my favorite.”
I laugh at him. He’s so ridiculous.
“Yetis now your favorite word?” I ask.
