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A soft silence follows his story. Every once in a while, I lead us off course, forcing Draxen to grab my hands and redirect me. He doesn’t think I’m trying to steer us away. He only thinks me incompetent. I’m giving him encouragement to touch me, to want more. To take me into his quarters so I can search him for the map.
The night sailor comes up top. “Shall I take over, Captain?”
“Yes, I think I’ll retire now.”
“Very good, then.”
“Come over here, girl,” Draxen demands. I follow him over to the door leading to his quarters. “Shall we continue our discussion of the constellations for a while more?”
“Oh yes.” As if we could still see the constellations while in his room. Blundering idiot. I don’t know how much longer I can stand this.
Draxen lights a few candles once we’re alone in his quarters.
“Tell me more about the two lovers,” I say.
“I’ve a better idea,” he says.
Here it comes. He just wanted me alone so his crew wouldn’t see him. Or see me struggle. Though I don’t see how he can conceal what we’re doing when every man still on deck saw me enter his room.
“And what might that be?” I ask.
“Lie on the bed.”
“What for?”
He loves my questions. He wants to answer them. He wants to show me. He’s too caught up in the moment to realize this is all a ploy. He should know better. But when I focus on one man, they never can tell. They’re too caught up in, well, me.
“I’m going to show you something more magical than the stars.”
Oh yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I can’t do this. I can’t stand to hear him talk anymore. He needs to shut his mouth.
I step forward, get right into his face. “How about if I show you?” When I lift my head up to his, he greedily meets me for a kiss.
He’s not a bad kisser—though I doubt Draxen has had as much practice as Riden.
But I get no enjoyment out of this. Because I’m not bored and looking for fun. I’m trying to get something done. And I know exactly the kind of foul man Draxen is. It’s impossible to ignore when I’m so focused on the desires of his heart and mind.
I remove his coat and toss it to the floor with the intent to search it soon. Draxen takes it for an invitation. He goes right for my breeches, fumbling with the clasp.
Ugh. That’s enough of that.
I shove Draxen down onto the bed and climb on top of him. From there I make it look as though I’m hurrying to undo the belt on his pants. I can feel the lust burning in him. It’s disgusting and wretched, and I want to stamp it out.
When I get his belt buckle undone, I slide off his sword, sheath and all.
I use the end to knock him out, square on the head.
“Oof,” he says before lying down, motionless.
I’m not sure what’s worse: what I just did or what I still have to do.
Don’t look at him,I tell myself.Focus on the clothes. Not what lies beneath.
I undress him. Every last article of clothing. I leave him lying naked on the bed while I search through every pocket, check for hidden linings, a fake sole in his boots.
But it’s…
Not here.
