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I know that. I need to get him onto the bed. “You need to relax. Here. Come, sit.” I sit on the bed and pat a spot next to me.
He looks conflicted, pained. Maybe I shouldn’t have put the siren away so soon. But I will not be reduced to pulling her out again tonight. I’d have to betrulydesperate indeed.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt you,” I say.
He scoffs. “As if you could.”
I point to his side, where I cut him when we were on the island.
“I allowed you to do that.”
“Right. Because you’re so bold and brave. Come, sit. Even conflicted pirates need a break.”
He finally yields. But he won’t look at me, and he’s ensuring there’s a good foot between us on the bed. Interesting, since I already know what he really wants. He must be trying to stay away from temptation. If so, he shouldn’t have relented the bed. That’s all the invitation I need.
“I imagine being the first mate is stressful for you,” I say.
“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re not the captain. I couldn’t stand being the first mate. I always have to have my way.”
He laughs.
“I like the freedom it gives me,” I continue. “You seem like you want more freedom.”
“Am I so easy to read?”
I didn’t have to use my powers to learn that. Riden is easier for me to read than others. “At times. There’s more going on in here than you say.” I tap my finger once to his head.
He finally turns toward me at the contact. “How do you know so much? How are you… you?”
“I am me because I choose to be me. I am what I want. Some people say you have to find yourself. Not I. I believe we create ourselves to be what we want. Any aspect of ourselves that we do not like can be altered if we make an effort.”
That might have been a bit much, but Riden eats it up. His eyes burn. They really are a beautiful brown.
I reach out and grasp his hand with mine.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Nothing. I wanted to touch you, so I did.”
“Simple as that?”
“Simple as that.”
“I want to kiss you again.”
“So then why don’t you?”
“Because I can’t help you. All I can do is take but give nothing in return.”
I’m struck speechless by his honesty. Maybe not the honesty, but the sincerity and selflessness in what he said. I’ve never heard a pirate say such a thing. It’s wrong. Uncomfortable. Almost makes me feel guilty for how I’m playing him.
Almost.
I slide closer to him, move my hand up to his face, and whisper, “But you are giving. You’re distracting me from the fate that awaits me. That’s more than I could have hoped for.”
I lean forward and press my lips to his. Rather than kiss me back, he puts his hand in my hair and says my name softly, with a touch of hopelessness.
