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Yes, I do know. It’s my father’s private room. The one place in the keep where only he is permitted to enter. I spent much of my childhood trying to find a way in, curiosity getting the better of me, and suffered dearly for it.
Vordan says, “I sent my best spy at the keep inside, Alosa. Would you like to know what he found?”
I open my mouth to tell him no. Lies will not get him anywhere. He cannot manipulate me. Not anymore. I am not his prisoner. He has not won this time.
But none of that comes out. Instead, I ask, “What?”
A grin takes over his face, and I get the urge to punch him. That physical manifestation of him thinking he’s gotten the upper hand on me.
“Will you free me if I tell you?”
“I can get it out of you with my powers or without them, Vordan. Your choice.”
He grits his teeth. “Fine, but don’t you forget it was I who found out for you.”
I’m about to open my mouth and start singing, but he cuts me off.
“Have you not always found it odd that your father is unaffected by your abilities? Do you know why?”
“Because his blood runs through my veins. That connection protects him.”
“Isthatwhat he told you?”
“It’s the truth,” I bite out through clenched teeth.
“Wrong.” Vordan seems to savor the word as it leaves his lips. “He found something on that island where he met your mother. A weapon. A device that protects him from the sirens. A device that lets him control them, should he find them again. A device that lets him controlyou. He’s been manipulating you since you were born.”
His words are ludicrous. I’ve been defying my father since I learned to control my own limbs. I don’t always listen. That’s why my whole body is covered in scars.
As if sensing my doubt, Vordan adds, “Think about it. Think about all he’s done to you. The way he’s beaten you. Tortured you. The way he hurt you just to prove a point. He’s been crueler to you than any other person alive, and yet you still serve him. You always go back to him. You always, ultimately, carry out his orders. Does that sound like something you would willingly do? You may try to rationalize it, Alosa. He’s your father. He’s only ever tried to make you strong. To make you a survivor. But do those sound like your own thoughts in your head? Or his thoughts bringing you back to him yet again?”
My blood turns cold. Air vanishes, and my vision blurs. No. It can’t be.
“You’re lying,” I snap once I find my voice.
“Am I?” he asks. “See for yourself.”
I do. I call forth a song so swept up in emotion, I can hardlybreathe out the notes. But even as I listen to Vordan’s truthful response, his story doesn’t change. He’s telling the truth. Or at least what he believes is the truth.
His spy is deceiving him.
He has to be wrong.
I flee from the brig, needing space from the two men within more than I’ve needed anything.
***
I wish I had simply killed Vordan and not bothered to question him. His words follow me wherever I go.
He’s been manipulating you since you were born.
I cannot doubt my father over one sentence spoken by his enemy. Iwon’t.
And yet I cannot forget the words. Because they did not change even when I used the power of my voice to demand the truth from him. There is an uncomfortable tightness in my gut that I must ignore. Because if I were to examine it, to admit what the name of that feeling is—it could ruin everything I know. Everything I’ve worked for my whole life.
So I suffer silently, not daring to pull out that doubt and investigate it.
Journeying back to the keep will take a month. That should be plenty of time for the sensation to be extinguished. For me to remember exactly where my loyalties lie.
