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“I can’t help myself when it comes to you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I used to be able to rationalize. When we were on theNight Farer, I could push feelings aside and focus on what was important. At the time, it was giving Draxen what he wanted. But that’s not what’s most important to me anymore.”
I swallow loudly during his brief pause.
“I’m fascinated by you. I needed to see you when you were alone in the brig. I didn’t like the thought of you being by yourself, and I couldn’t help my curiosity. I had to see what you were like when you were… different. You have so much power. You tempted me with just one movement of your finger. And yet, when you’re yourself, you treat this crew as though they’re your family. You like to pretend you’re so tough and nothing hurts you, but you care so deeply.
“And when we were in the cave, you ordered me to stay behind. You were trying to protect everyone again. You don’t care one whit about putting yourself in danger if it’s the trade-off for keeping everyone else alive.”
He takes a step forward, and my heart beats faster at the proximity. “I do not value my life above yours, and I could not let you be in danger alone. I wanted to be a part of your crew so I could fight with you, not have you trying to save me from danger.
“I made myself a promise,” he continues, “after we left Draxen at the supply post. I’m not going to follow orders blindly like I did as first mate of theNight Farer. I don’t want to be the man who doesn’t do what he believes is right because he’s too busy following orders. I want to make my own choices. Especially where you are concerned.”
I’m speechless, completely caught off guard by his reasoning. He continues still, reaching a hand out to stroke my hair, “You’re beautiful, the most stunning person I’ve ever seen. You’re fearless. You like danger. You like to make yourfriends laugh and your enemies cower. You have the power to obtain anything you want, yet you’ve worked hard for everything you have.
“So, no, Alosa, I cannot promise that I won’t ignore orders again. Like I said, when it comes to you, I have no control over my actions.”
I stand and move over to one of the portholes in the room to stare at the fading sunlight. I need to put distance between us so I don’t do something embarrassing. Like spout off my feelings or lunge at him again.
I take deep breaths, trying to calm my heartbeat, trying to focus on the pain in my shoulder instead.
But then I feel his hand touch the base of my neck. I almost jump. I hadn’t even heard him approach. When did I relax around Riden enough to no longer consider him a threat? My guard isn’t up. And strangely, that realization doesn’t bother me. His fingers slide up my neck and into my hair, raising the strands away from my skin.
My heart leaps as I feel his breath there.
“Your enchantments last long after your song fades.” His voice takes on a huskier tone, and my senses sharpen with it. His lips brush my neck as he starts kissing his way up to my hairline. My body shudders, an uncontrollable reaction to him. He smiles against my skin, pleased by the response.
I swallow. “I thought we weren’t supposed to be kissing anymore.”
“We are not kissing,” he whispers. “I’m kissing you.” His free hand slides around my waist, pressing me into him. “Yourskin tastes so good.” His teeth nip at my neck, and an excited gasp leaves my mouth.
I’m about to round on him, possibly to demand a kiss or fifty from him, but then Mandsy arrives with her kit.
“I’ve got everything,” she says brightly. “I’ll have you patched up in no time.”
Riden doesn’t move. I’m still facing the window, so I can’t begin to imagine the look on her face.
“Or I could come back later,” she says in the same chipper tone of voice. Nothing fazes her.
“No,” Riden says. “The captain needs treating now. I’ll leave you to it.” His warm arms leave me, and his footsteps retreat until they’re cut off completely by the door shutting.
What the hell just happened?
Does he think I’ve forgotten how he reacted to my saving him from drowning? He can’t just make everything disappear by touching me!
Although, apparently, he can, since I forgot completely about it in the moment.
I shake my head and turn toward Mandsy. She doesn’t look as though she saw anything of note. She’s smiling, but she always smiles.
“Have a seat, Captain.” She points toward the bed.
I don’t realize how warm I am until Mandsy touches a cool cloth to my blood-streaked face. Its weight is a comfort, unlike everything else.
Lotiya is dead. My father is almost upon us. My mother is probably swimming somewhere without a care in the world.My muscles sag from the fighting and running and heavy lifting. And I can’t even begin to figure Riden out.
It just keeps piling up, and I don’t want to deal with any of it.
