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“How did we turn out the way we did when such horrible men raised us?” I wonder aloud.
“Because we are not our fathers. We saw what evil looked like, and we knew we wanted to be different.”
I stare at the hand on my arm, thinking over his words. I may not be my father, but that doesn’t mean I always know the right choice to make.
And right now I’m terrified, desperate for someone to confide in. It can’t be Niridia when she’s at odds with me over this.
“Am I going to be forced to watch everyone I care about slowly fade away?” I say. “Will I be the only one left on this ship? The only one my father catches? It feels like my only choicesare to be lost to the sea or to be lost to him. I’m not sure which is worse.”
“Neither of those is going to happen.” He says it with such confidence, like the cocky bastard I’ve always taken him for.
“And how’s that?”
“You’re going to master yourself underwater.”
I scoff. “So I can save myself?”
“No, so you can save all of us.”
I shake my head. “It won’t happen. The siren can’t be tamed when she’s in her natural habitat. I almost slit your throat last time. I don’t think you realize how close you were to death.”
“And I don’t want you to be at risk of losing yourself. What if you fall in the water after theAva-leetakes her next hit? Just like that you’d be lost to us. Unable to save anyone. Isn’t it worth it to try again?”
“Not if it means I’ll kill the entire crew.”
“Alosa, we’re already surrounded by death on all sides. We need to take this risk.”
My mind is so exhausted. All those disappointed faces…
“You said you didn’t come here to argue with me. I want to be alone now.”
He takes his arm back, watching me carefully. “You’re running out of options. And we’re running out of time.”
***
The next day, the entire crew watches as the island approaches.
And we pass it by.
Niridia can barely stand to talk to me or dole out my ordersshe’s so furious. Mandsy is in the infirmary with more exhausted patients. Sorinda stays by my side, in the shade, but close nonetheless. A physical support.
It’s too much to hope for rain. There’s not a cloud in the sky. Water won’t be coming that way.
We have days left. Only days.
Niridia approaches me another day later, when the island is at our backs near the fleet.
“Niridia—”
“Quiet,” she snaps.
I level her with a warning glare.
“No, Alosa,” she says. “I’m going to talk. I seem to be the only voice of reason on this ship these days. Riden tells me you’re refusing to practice with your abilities underwater.”
“Of course I’m refusing! I nearly killed everyone last time.”
She grabs me roughly by the arm and drags me toward the stern. The crew watches, and I try to decide how I can put her in her place without lowering morale further. The crew can’t see its first mate and captain at odds.
