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I yanked myself away from her and opened the door.
“Why are you so hard-headed?!” she shouted, voice trembling, making me stop dead in my tracks, entire body tense.
I didn’t know what the fuck this woman did to me, and I couldn’t fucking make it stop.
“Why can’t you just listen for once?! I don’t know what you want me to say to you. I answer your question, and you flip out on me.”
“I didn’t like your answer.”
“Well, what do you want me to say then?”
“That you love me!” I shouted before I could stop myself.
As soon as the words left my mouth, we both froze. It was fucking out in the world, and I couldn’t take it back. Not after she had heard me. Not when she was staring at me with those huge brown eyes that filtered through so many emotions. I didn’t know what to say.
I swallowed hard and glanced at the ground between us. “That you fucking love me,” I whispered to myself, knowing that I had fucking screwed up by admitting some shit like that to her because, fuck, I didn’t even know what we were anymore.
She and Landon were together. Were we fuck buddies on the side?
Neither of us made a move to leave the room or to … to say much of anything to each other. But I didn’t like that look making its way onto that flawless fucking face of hers. I fucking loathed the pity, the hurt.
“João,” Imani whispered, lips parted in surprise. “I—”
“Forget I said anything,” I said between gritted teeth and stormed out of the room, not giving Imani even a moment to speak. I didn’t want to hear an excuse or any shit like that. I couldn’t hear it.
As much as I hated to admit it, she had been so good with Ana.
And I was too invested in her to hear a rejection.
“João!” she shouted again.
But I was already on the ground floor and heading toward my car. Fuck walking back downstairs and shit-talking with the guys for the rest of the night. I needed time alone. I needed to go pick up Ana.
I shoved the back door open and hurried to my car, then slid into the driver’s seat and started it. A couple moments later, Imani appeared at the back door, hurrying out into the snow and the cold, her curls blowing everywhere.
She opened her mouth and yelled something at me, but I put the car into drive and sped down the road. She followed a few houses, then finally slowed to a jog. I stared into the rearview mirror, knowing that I should stop and go back.
But I fucking couldn’t get myself to do it. So, I kept driving.
