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“It’s dark outside. No light coming through the clouds in this storm. Stay right there. I’ll get the candles sorted.”
I reached into my pocket, pulling out the lighter I kept on hand out of force of habit. In a few moments, I’d lit the dust-covered candles still lining the walls, stooping to pick up those that had fallen from their places in the candelabras. The heavy pillars smelled of wax and reminded me of the monthly deliveries I used to make to this very church before I became its pastor. Before this island was set up with electricity, we had to rely on firelight to get us through our nights. These thick candles were made to endure.
“So this was your parish?” Sunday asked as the glow lit the space. “Where’s your confessional booth?” She flashed me a flirtatious grin, clearly thinking back to the last time we’d been seated in one together.
“Destroyed.”
“By you?”
“No.”
“Where will you make your confession, then?”
I shoved my hands in my pockets, feeling more uncomfortable in this space than I had since I was a lad. “I don’t think it truly matters.”
“Well then, I guess it’s my turn to get you on your knees, Mr. Gallagher.” She emphasized the title, putting me in my place as easily as if she’d shoved me to the floor herself.
I couldn’t help myself; I growled low in my throat at the order. She would pay for that when we were finished here. I would enjoy every fecking second of it.
But first, I had ghosts to exorcise. That meant facing my demons. I slid into the nearest pew and settled on the kneeler. “Sunday, I’m not even sure where to begin.”
“Haven’t you ever seen that musical? You start at the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start.”
“I was only the priest on this island for one day...”
Sunday’s playful teasing gave way to intense focus and profound empathy as she sat on the pew in front of me, her eyes glued to mine. For as reticent as I’d been about doing this, the words poured from me as soon as I started, desperate to be released. I hadn’t realized how badly I’d needed this confession. It’s one I’d offered up many times, but never to another living soul. Never to someone whose opinion mattered to me.
There wasn’t a flicker of disgust or judgment in her eyes as I finished my tale. Then she leaned forward and kissed the seemingly permanent furrow between my brows. “You’re forgiven, Caleb. And you’re loved. So loved it’s painful for me to see you like this. No one should despise themselves this much.”
Tears burned in my eyes, and it was impossible to breathe as her hushed words sank deep into what was left of my blackened heart.
“What did I do to deserve a life with you? No matter how short,” I looked up into her eyes and swallowed thickly. “I don’t know how you can love a creature as undeserving and monstrous as me.”
“I don’t know why you can’t see the truth. A monster wouldn’t think twice about what he did. True evil has no remorse. You aren’t the demon you think you are. You wouldn’t be this upset if you were.”
I sucked in a breath, feeling as though razor blades had taken up residence in my lungs. She cupped my face, sweetly kissing me.
“No more, Caleb. You cannot keep punishing yourself. I won’t allow it. If you don’t trust yourself to make that call, then trust me. I wouldn’t give my heart to someone who wasn’t worthy. And more than that, husband, how can you tell me you love me if you don’t even know how to love yourself?”
I didn’t have words to respond. Instead, I stood and exited my pew so I could stand in front of her. I needed more than her sweet voice. I needed her in my arms. “Come here to me,a stor.” She nearly melted into my hold, letting me clutch her to my chest as I breathed in her scent and let her chase away all my ghosts. “I do not deserve you,” I whispered against her lips.
“No. But thankfully fate saw fit to give me to you anyway.” She grinned, her eyes flashing in the candlelight. “Are you ready for one of my confessions, Father Gallagher?”
My cock gave an appreciative twitch at the hunger in her voice. “What could you possibly have to confess?”
A wicked gleam lit her eyes. “I get dirty thoughts about you.”
A surprised laugh escaped before I could stop it. “Do you, now? I would hope so, given the ones I have of you.”
“No, I mean...” She licked her lips, her eyes darting to the altar beside us. “During class, when you’d be lecturing—”
“You mean to tell me you were daydreaming in my class, Miss Fallon?”
She nodded, her lips twitching. “Pretty much exclusively. I couldn’t stop thinking about one thing in particular.”
“Oh, and what’s that?” My palm skated down her spine until I reached the swell of her backside. One hard squeeze had her moaning.
“You, fucking me on the altar. Taking me in every hole until I screamed.”
