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Air refused to enter her lungs for some time. She fought the urge to bend double, such was the agony pooling in her stomach. How could he speak so callously to her? To a woman who had been his friend for so long? To his lover?
***
HAT CLASPED IN both hands, Luke tightened his hold on the brim. It was all he could do not to reach out for her, to kiss her and soothe away the pain he caused. There was no salvaging this—he’d taken everything from her.
But he could stop this from going any further. He could blame his fear last night for making him give in, but he knew better. Cassie had invaded his mind and soul long ago and he could not shake her. The only way of making this any better was to get out of here and put an end to this ridiculous charade of him pretending he was somehow worthy of her.
She had to see him for who he really was.
“I’ll be back once I’ve caught this bastard.” He set his hat on his head. “And then you can go about your business as usual.”
And he could return to his life too. Back to being who he really was—a lowly rake. Perhaps she would go on to marry this duke, perhaps not, but either way he would not have taken the choice from her. Her brother scarcely scraped the back of his mind anymore. This was about Cassie and only Cassie.
“I am coming with you,” she insisted once more.
Luke glanced at her discarded clothes. He had no doubt she would follow him to the textile mill, but she could not do so in her undergarments. He ground his teeth together at the tempting image she created.
Wisps of gray morning light touched her skin, smoothing it to perfection. The gentle rise of her breasts above her stays tempted and her shift skimmed a waist he had held firmly as he’d ploughed into her. His only regret was he’d not taken the time to undress her fully and seal the image of her nude and magnificent in his mind.
Another example of the man that he was—he shouldn’t be thinking of her naked. Or curled in his arms. Or waiting for him to come home and kissing him as though he had been gone an eternity. Dear God, he’d never wanted something so badly. To hell with nakedness. He would spend a lifetime with her in her shift and never even catching a glimpse of a breast if he had Cassie to come home to.
“You’ll need to dress,” he said tersely.
“It will take mere moments.”
He shook his head. “I’m not waiting.”
“Please wait, Luke,” she begged. “I need to do this.”
“No.”
She put a hand to his arm, her eyes wide and shimmering. “I investigated this. I figured this out. It is my right.”
“You are a woman, Cass, you have no rights.”
Her eyes flashed. “I am doing this.”
“Why are you so determined to put yourself in danger? Can you not stay home and embroider or take tea like a proper lady?”
“I want to do this. I need to do this.” Her delicate hands fisted into tiny balls. “Everyone thinks I am incapable, even my sisters—”
“This is to prove yourself to your sisters?”
“They’ve solved so many mysteries. Is it so wrong that I should wish to do the same?”
“Mysteries?” he repeated.
“My mother’s investigative society.” She waved a hand at his scowl. “She started a group of female investigators to help other women—those who would be ignored. Iwillcarry on her legacy.”
He released a dry laugh. “So this is what it’s all about? Little Cassie Fallon wishes to prove herself to some silly group of women who believe themselves to be investigators.”
Her expression turned to stone. “I am not little. I am a grown woman. As you experienced only last night.”
He hated himself. Maybe more than she hated him right now. Hated how he had to push her away, how he needed to dismiss her. But he had no choice. “I have been with grown women.” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “You are far from grown, Little Cassie.”
The pain that seared through him when her expression crumpled had to surely be as painful as hers. It took all his willpower to step away from her and turn his back. After this, she would never talk to him again most likely. Which was what he wanted, was it not? If only his mind did not war with him and beg him to drop to his knees and ask her forgiveness.
Cassie dashed to snatch her clothes. He used the opportunity to stride out of the room and slam the door shut behind him. He heard her make a sound of annoyance and glanced around. She knew where he was to go and he would not put it past her to follow him, regardless of the danger.
