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He shook his head and straightened, a hand to his gut. “Forgive me.”
His voice was husky, almost fragile. In fact, his whole appearance gave of an air of fragility and it scared her. She’d never seen him look anything other than strong and confident.
“Forgive you for what?”
“I cannot go back in that room.”
“But why?”
He shook his head and his chest rose and fell as he looked past her at the building. “I—” His gaze met hers. “It’s nothing.”
Titling her head, she placed hands to hips. “It did not look like nothing.”
He eyed her for a few moments. “It’s nothing,” he repeated tightly.
“Blake...”
“Damn it, woman, can a man not have his secrets?”
“Not when it makes them all...” She gestured to his face. “Pale and deathly looking.”
“Wonderful.” He grimaced. “My ego thanks you.”
“Clearly, that room had an impact on you. Will you not tell me why?” She took his hand again, grateful when he did not snatch it back. “I thought we were friends.”
“Friends?” he echoed. “Friends.” He nodded. “Yes. I suppose we are.”
“Well, it might surprise you to know that you can tell your friends when something is wrong. I know men are rather useless at such things...”
“I tell Ashford some things,” he protested.
“But not everything I would wager.”
He smirked. “I would never wager against you. I have seen you gamble.”
“Cease trying to change the subject.”
He heaved out a breath and took his hand back, removed his hat and shoved his hand through his hair. “That room...” He slung a glance toward the building. “It reminded me very much of where I grew up.”
“I thought you lived on your father’s estate in Herefordshire.”
“I did.”
“Then how—”
A dry smile appeared on his lips. “My father kept a room especially for me. Much like that.”
“On his estate?”
“Yes. Straw pallet and everything. It was up near the servant’s quarters where I wouldn’t bother anyone. The damned roof leaked and it stank of mildew and bird shit.”
She winced at the rough language but forced her posture to remain firm. The last thing Blake needed right now was to see her shock. “But why? Your father has wealth does he not? I mean, goodness, you hardly live the life of a pauper.”
“Whatever people say of me, I am a man of my own means. I made certain of that after I left for Eton.”
It didn’t surprise her. Once, it might have done, but not anymore. Not now she knew him so much better.
“So why did you live...like that?” She motioned to the sagging building.
