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Lifting my thumb, I swipe at the silent tears falling down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I had to, dolcezza. I had to go back, if I hadn’t…” I let my sentence trail off.
“I know,” she says, shocking me. “I know what you have to do, Theo. I just don’t like it. I don’t know if I can live like this. I’m not sure how much my heart can take, not knowing where you are all day and all night. Not knowing if you’re safe. Not knowing if you’re even still alive. I was scared. Not for myself, but for you.”
“Dolcezza, I don’t have a choice. We don’t have a choice. This is my world. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it’s safe. Because you’ve seen for yourself how fucked up it really is. But this is it. The hand we’ve been dealt. We just have to find a way to make it work for us.” I pick her up and pull her onto my lap, holding her gaze. “There is no other choice here, Holly. You’re my wife. I’m never going to be able to let you go. Even if you were to beg, I couldn’t. I can’t. I need you. I fucking love you.”
“The thought of leaving has never crossed my mind. It should have. Logically, I know that. But you are mine, T. I’m never going to ask you to let me go. I want you to hold on. I want to be what brings you home at night. I want to be your first choice. And as selfish as it is, I want to be your only choice as well. I don’t like sharing you with your job.”
ChapterEight
Icurl myself into T’s arms. Taking comfort in his embrace, the warmth, the feeling of being safe. It’s consuming me. It always does. How can one person have this effect on me? I try hard to remind myself that I’m pissed off at him. That I’m angry he left me sitting in a bloody café. I try not to let the relief of being in his arms take away from my anger. It’s hard. So freaking hard. “We can’t keep doing this, T. I can’t keep doing this,” I whisper into his chest.
He tilts my face up, making my eyes meet his. “I know, dolcezza. I know.” He leans down and captures my lips with his. “I love you. You are more important to me than anything or anyone. I need you to know that. When I heard those shots this morning, my first thought was not running out and helping my men, protecting my family. It was you; it was getting you as far away from that house as quickly as I could. Once I knew you were safe at Helena’s, I had to go back, Holly. You are my first thought, my every thought. But my family, the men who work for me. They rely on me too.”
“I know. I understand. I just don’t like it,” I tell him honestly, sinking back into his chest. After sitting in silence for a few minutes, I bring up a subject that I know he’s avoiding. “What are you going to do about Angelica? She’s here to see you.”
“I don’t know what to do about that.”
“It’s not her fault, you know. You can’t hate or blame her for what your mum did.”
“Why are you always right? So wise.”
“It’s because I’m a teacher, and teachers know everything, obviously.” I laugh.
“Come on, let’s get you inside. It’s fucking freezing out here,” T says, lifting me to my feet.
I follow him back into the living room, which is now empty. “Where did everyone go?” I ask, just as Angelica is walking down the small hallway with Isabella in her arms.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. It was lovely to meet you, Holly.” Angelica heads for the door.
“Stop,” T barks, using his gruff, commanding tone. Angelica pauses and raises an eyebrow, waiting for him to say something else. “Where are you planning on going?” he asks.
“I have a suite at the Four Seasons,” she answers as Isabella wiggles her way out of her mother’s arms.
“Are you my Uncle Theo?” the girl asks. The room is silent, both Angelica and I waiting on his answer just as much as his hopeful niece.
“Yes, you must be the little princess of Italy I’ve heard so much about.” T bends down and holds his hand out for Isabella to shake. She looks at his open palm, then wraps her tiny arms around his neck, catching him off-guard. He slowly curls one hand around her back, patting her gently. It’s a little comical and sweet. My damn ovaries are working overtime at the sight.
“I’m not really a princess, but my nonno thinks I am. I’m not going to tell him I’m not, because he buys me ponies,” she says seriously.
“I think you could get anyone to buy you ponies, bella. All you’d have to do is ask.”
“I think I have enough ponies now.”
“Do you like ice cream? I was just about to take my girl home to get some. She’s getting hangry,” T not-so-subtly whispers. “Would you care to join us?”
Isabella looks to her mother for an answer. “Ah, we should get back to the hotel, Izzy. I’m sure Theo and Holly have things they want to do.”
“It’s fine. There’s plenty of space. I’ll call ahead and have some rooms set up for you. Come on, bella, I don’t know about you, but I could really use that ice cream.” Theo takes hold of Isabella’s hand. I’m left standing there, stunned and a little unsure of what to do.
Am I really jealous of an eight-year-old right now? No, I’m not. It’s just that he’d usually be taking my hand. I don’t have time to contemplate my uncertainty, before T reaches out and wraps his other arm around my shoulder, kissing my temple.
I melt into his side as he whispers, “Don’t worry, dolcezza, you’ll always be my number one girl.” I glare up and elbow him in the ribs when I see the smirk he’s sporting.
“We really can go back to the hotel, Theo. I didn’t come here to impose on anyone,” Angelica says, looking at the joined hands of Theo and Isabella as we walk out of the apartment.
“It’s T, and you’re not imposing. You’re family. And there’s a lot we have to catch up on. It would be easier to do that if you stay with us.”
“Okay.”
