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“If I didn’t make you take me to Italy, he’d still be here. I wouldn’t have had to kill someone. I killed someone, T, and I got Sonnie killed. What kind of person does that make me?”
“Dolcezza, you are the best fucking person I’ve ever met. You are not to blame for what happened. If anyone is to blame, it’s me. I took you with me, knowing full well the situation we were walking into. I should have been there to protect you, to make sure nothing like that ever happened to you.”
“What-what’s going to happen now? Is it even safe to go to this service today? Should we be out in public like that?”
Lana’s warning from yesterday replays in my mind. I shove it down. “Nothing will happen. We will be surrounded by my men, dolcezza. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”
“And you? I need to know that you’ll be safe, T.”
“I promise you I will always do whatever I have to do to stay safe. To return to you. You are my shining light, always showing me the way home. You lead me out of the darkness, Holly.”
“What if I’m the one needing the light? What if I’m drowning in a darkness of my own, T? I killed someone and I’d do it again if I had to.”
“Good. You need to always choose yourself. Don’t ever hesitate, Holly.”
“I feel like a hypocrite,” she mumbles.
“Why?” My hands stroke up and down her back, trying to offer her whatever comfort I can.
“I blamed my dad for killing that man. I hated him. I told him he was a monster. He never showed any remorse for what he did. And look at me… I’m just like him. I don’t feel remorse. I was fucking relieved.”
“You were young, Holly. Your dad does not blame you for thinking that.” I sigh. “Let me ask you this. Do you think I’m a monster? Do you think less of me for the things I’ve done? Because I can guarantee you I’ve done things far worse than you could ever imagine, dolcezza.”
She mulls over my question, not saying anything for a while, and I wonder if she hasn’t really ever considered the things I’m capable of doing. “I think that you are some people’s monster. The boogeyman that keeps them awake at night. But to me, you’re the one thing that helps me sleep. You are the one person I can trust wholeheartedly to always have my back. You are a part of me, like we are not two separate people anymore.”
“We’re united, Holly. We will reign over this city together. We will build our own legacy for our children and children’s children.”
“A united reign. I like it.” She smiles.
“Me too.”
ChapterFourteen
Twent downstairs to make a few calls and left me to get ready. I’ve chosen a black lace dress. It seems funeral appropriate, although it does cling to my curves and the cut around my breasts gives me the appearance of having more cleavage than I actually do. I like it though. I’ve applied light makeup, trying to keep it as natural as possible, and left my hair hanging down my back in loose curls.
I walk into the closet to find shoes. I still don’t know how T manages to have wardrobes filled with clothes and accessories for me no matter where we are. I’ll have to remember to ask him about it. I select a pair of black Jimmy Choo heels and snap a photo of my feet to send to Reilly later. She loves a good designer shoe—well, a designer anything really.
I’ve never cared too much about labels before, or my appearance for that matter. But I don’t want to embarrass T by seeming like anything less than someone deserving of him. I know… I shouldn’t be dressing to impress him or anyone else. However, I can’t lie and say I don’t enjoy the way he looks at me, the way his eyes darken and fill with lust when he runs them up and down my body.
I head downstairs to find him, but run into one of his men instead. I can’t remember the guy’s name. I’ve been trying not to make eye contact with any of them ever since Sonnie died. Do they blame me? Did they know him? Were they friends? All these questions run through my mind as I look at this man, dressed in an all-black suit with a scary-looking scowl on his face. “Mrs. Valentino, are you okay?” he asks.
“Uh, yeah. Have you, um, have you seen T or Neo?”
“They’re both in the boss’s office, ma’am.”
“Thank you, and it’s just Holly. You can call me Holly.”
He laughs a little before he recovers with a cough in his hand. “I don’t think the boss would appreciate that too much, Mrs. Valentino.”
“Well, he might not, but I sure would. Mrs. Valentino makes me sound old.Ma’ammakes me sound ancient. Neither option is one I want to feel.” I give him my sweetest smile before I pivot in the direction of my husband’s office.
I’m stopped by two more beefy guards standing in front of the closed doors. “Sorry, boss is busy. You can’t go in there,” one of them says.
“Busy? Doing what?” I fold my arms over my chest. I don’t miss how his slimy eyes go straight to my cleavage, which has me dropping my fists by my side.
“He’s in a meeting, ma’am.”
Argh, again with thema’am. I’m starting to think I look way older than I bloody well am. “Okay, well, I’m going in there, so unless you’re prepared to physically stop me from entering that office, I would appreciate it if you would step aside.”
