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“Holly, you’re not going to get fat. You’ll be growing our son. There is nothing more fucking beautiful than that.”
“I’m not ready, T. I don’t know if I can do this.”
“We will do this. You will be fine. I’ll make sure of it. You are going to make the best fucking mother, dolcezza.”
Tears stream down her cheeks. “I’m scared, Theo. What do I know about kids?”
I laugh, much to her disappointment. “Holly, you’re a teacher. I’d say you know a lot about kids. More than I do.”
The door to the room opens, and a nurse walks in. “Okay, sweetheart, I just need you to pee in this cup for me.” Holly’s hands shake as she takes the plastic container from the older woman. “Are you okay, sweetheart? Do you need me to get you anything?” The nurse glances between us, giving me a very disapproving look.
“I’m okay, just shocked I guess.”
“Come on, dolcezza, I’ll help you.” I pull her up, holding on to her until I’m sure she has her footing.
“You’re not watching me pee, T.” Holly tries to push me out of the way.
“I’m coming in that bathroom with you, Holly. We are doing this together, the whole way, and it all starts with you peeing in that cup. I’m not fucking missing that.”
Holly groans as she grabs my hand and tugs me into the bathroom. “Turn the tap on. I need some encouragement. If you’re watching, I’m not going to be able to pee,” she says as she slides her panties down and sits on the toilet.
“You know, I’ve been up close and personal with all those parts.” I point to her crotch area. “A little bit of pee is nothing, dolcezza.”
“Just be quiet,” she mumbles as she closes her eyes.
She pees, flushes the toilet, and washes her hands. “What now?” she asks, staring at the cup on the counter.
I pick up the plastic container and open the door. “Here you go. How does this work? How long do we have to wait?” I ask the nurse while attempting to pass over the sample.
“Not too long. Just place it on the counter here. The doctor will be in shortly.” I do as I’m instructed and hold Holly’s hand. The woman smiles and dons a pair of disposable gloves, before collecting everything and walking out the door. Holly and I sit down and wait in silence.
Ten minutes later a doctor walks through the door. “Holly Valentino?” he asks.
“Yes.” Holly’s voice is shaky, quiet.
“Congratulations, you’re pregnant.” The older man grins tentatively.
I mentally give myself a high-five. She’s pregnant. With my kid. “Holy shit, we’re pregnant. We are actually having a baby. A piece of you and a piece of me. I fucking love you, Holly.” I pick her up and spin her around before I remember the baby.
She’s fucking pregnant.Holy shit, she’s pregnant. What the fuck do I do now? Does she need a doctor? Should they be checking on the baby? She did faint… Fuck, I need some information on pregnancy. I have no idea what to do, how to help her.
We listen to all the “dos and don’ts” the doctor is informing us on—well, I listen and Holly zones out, pretending to listen. There’re appointments that need to be set up. After I thank the older man and assure him we’ll be seeing the best OB-GYN money can buy, he leaves. Then I turn to my wife, who is clearly still in shock.
ChapterSixteen
Pregnant. The one word that changes everything keeps flashing through my mind. This is what I’ve always wanted. What I’ve always dreamed of: finding a husband, settling down, having children. I may not have the white picket fence and the safe, boring husband, but I wouldn’t swap T for anyone in the world. I want his children. Of course I want his children.
Why the hell am I not over the moon about this? I look at Theo, who hasn’t been able to wipe the smile off his face since we found out about our impending doom. No, not doom… our impending bundle of joy.This is a blessing.I need to start thinking of it that way. And stop thinking that it’s the end of life as I know it.
I should call Reilly. She always knows what to say to get me out of my own head. And that’s all this is. I’m stuck in my own negative mindset. I love kids. I’m a teacher—of course I love kids. I can’t for the life of me figure out what my hang-ups about this are. I love my husband, and I know he loves me. And I know that he will be a great dad.
“Here, drink this.” I mindlessly take the hot cup of coffee from T and sip, which very quickly comes flying back out of my mouth.
“What the bloody hell is this?” I ask, inspecting the cup. It looks like coffee; it smells like coffee. But it’s certainlynotcoffee.
“It’s decaf. I just read that you can’t drink caffeine while you’re pregnant, so I had all the coffee in the house thrown out,” T says proudly.
“You what? Oh, Lord. Please, someone tell me I’m on some prank show and you’re joking. You are joking, right?”
