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Josh
“Do your best, Josh, please.” As soon as the words leave her lips, I slam into her. The warm, wet, tight sensations making my balls constrict. I hold steady, buried to the hilt, calming my raging cock down a bit. I refuse to lose control this early. I’m not a fucking rookie teenager.
Once I’ve got things calmed down a little, I start pumping in and out of her, her juices dripping as the sound of flesh hitting flesh rings out loud in my ears. I needed this tonight more than she will ever know. The knowledge that I could come home and lose myself in this girl is what has kept me going these last couple of weeks.
I clear my thoughts of anything that isn’t her, isn’t us. This thing between Emily and me is lethal. It has the potential to ruin me. This one woman can bring me to my knees, shatter my already black soul. God help the world if it ever comes to that. Yet the rewards of having her far outweigh the risk.
“Oh God, yes, that. Keep doing that,” Emily moans as she pulls on my neck, claiming my mouth. Her kiss is hungry, needy. I push my tongue deep into her mouth, giving her everything. Every piece of me belongs to her.
Our bodies move in sync, her hips arching off the bed. Pulling away from her, I sit up, lifting her legs and holding them in the air, her ankles resting on my shoulders. I hammer into her. I give her what she wanted.
Her head falls back, her eyes close and her mouth opens as I continue to pump in and out. We’re both a sweaty mess, both panting for breath, climbing that hill and pursuing that ecstasy we can only get as we crash over the cliff.
Her walls pulsate around me as her body stiffens and she screams my name. There is nothing I love hearing more than the sound of her lost in bliss and calling out my fucking name. I follow her over the cliff, crashing as waves of pleasure run up my spine. My release spills into her, filling her.
I collapse next to her and pull her into my arms, bringing the blanket up to cover us. My fingers trail mindlessly up and down her back. We lie there in silence as we both let our breathing settle, our bodies relaxed. Sated.
“Josh, are you okay?” Emily’s quiet voice breaks the silence. Am I okay? How the fuck do I answer that without depositing all of my stressors onto her? She doesn’t deserve the burden of my worries.
“I will be,” is the best answer I can come up with.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“You being here, that’s helping more than you’ll know. Don’t worry, Em. All this shit will sort itself out.” My lips meet the top of her head.
Her fingertips trace along her name branded on my chest. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Emmy. This isn’t your fault.”
“It is.” She picks her head up and connects those blue eyes with mine. “Do you think I’m a horrible person?”
Her question shocks me. It makes me fucking angry to think she would even consider that. “Fuck no, I don’t.” My words come out harsher than I intended. Emily’s eyes widen. She tries to push off me. Holding her tighter, I count to ten in my head. “Emmy, babe, you are literally the best thing since sliced bread. Actually, no, you’re better. You are the best fucking thing on this whole planet. Why on earth would you think you’re a horrible person?”
She shakes her head no. “I killed someone, Josh. I took a life from someone. And I’m not sorry. I don’t feel bad about it. I should feel some sort of guilt. I should feel sorry, but I don’t. The only thing I regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. And I’m sorry that I’ve brought this burden to you. But I’m not sorry that I killed someone, and I should be, right? A normal person would feel something.”
“Normal is overrated, Emmy. You are not normal. You are exceptional. Never aim to be normal, because normal is average, and trust me, babe, you are anything but average.” I lean down, gently kissing her lips. “Also, you shouldn’t feel sorry for defending yourself. You should feel fucking proud. I’m proud of you, Em. I’m not sorry that you came to me. I’m fucking ecstatic that you’re here. You are not a burden. Don’t you ever think that.”
“I like having you back too. I wish it were under different circumstances. But I love you, Josh. I don’t know what I’d do right now without you.”
Maybe she’s stopped thinking of her escape route. I feel like the last couple of weeks she’s accepted the fact that we are an us. That she’s not alone, but I still can’t shake this sense of dread, this feeling that she wants to leave. Not that she wants to leave me, but the fact that she thinks she needs to protect me.
“I love you too. I don’t want you to worry anymore, Em. Go to sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
“Okay.” She lays her head back down on my chest.
I stare at the ceiling, not willing to close my eyes and let myself drift until after I feel her breathing slow, her body soften under my hands, her light little snores fill the room.
* * *
“Fucking.Fuck. Fuck. Goddamn fucking shit piece of thing!” I yell as I throw my monitor across the room. It shatters, glass flying in every direction as it hits the wall.
I’ve been sitting in this office all fucking morning, going over every scrap of information my team has managed to uncover on Detective Jones. It’s not fucking much. So far, we know he’s a dirty fucking pig. He’s recently been suspended. He’s not even a fucking detective anymore. Whatever the fuck he wants with Emily has nothing to do with the law.
It’s been three weeks. Three fucking weeks since I had to have Emily hauled up to my brother’s house. She won’t even leave the bedroom. I need to get this shit sorted, and sooner rather than later. Her words from a week ago replay back to me. “Do you think I’m a horrible person?” I’ve spent the last week trying to prove to her just how fucking perfect she is. The only problem is I’ve been spending more time here, in this fucking office, and out on the streets of Sydney than I have with her.
I’ve spent countless hours searching for any scrap of information on this fucker. He’s like a goddamn ghost. He hasn’t been seen since he questioned Dean at The Merge, the club my brother works security at. That doesn’t mean he’s disappeared. He’s been sending daily emails directly to me. Each day, the threats get more detailed, more graphic. Today’s email sent me over the edge, a red haze enveloping me.
Joshua,
