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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
SIERRA OPENED HER mouth to tell him no. How dare he presume to understand her pain? Understand her guilt. He’d never walked in her shoes. He’d never lost a child.
But she closed her mouth with a click of her teeth.
Yes, he had. He had lost an unborn baby. And he’d been devastated by that loss. He might not understand her particular suffering, but he did understand his own.
It was true, what he’d said. She had done all that stuff. She had wallowed, and she had withdrawn from everyone after Grace died. She’d pushed her husband away, and become less of a person because she didn’t know how to handle her loss. But she was entitled, wasn’t she?
Should she admit that she’d been thinking a lot over the past few days? Thinking about him. About how she felt when she was around him. How his mere presence made her come alive like she hadn’t done in years. How she missed him when he wasn’t around. Missed his deep laugh. Missed his smoldering gazes that heated her to the core, like there was lava bubbling beneath her skin.
After her talk with Jen last night, she’d also replayed the car accident over and over in her head. Re-analyzing it, now that she had more information. Looking at it from different sides, all angles. Taking a more un-biased view of it. There was still one single truth to come out of it. Her daughter was dead. She would never see her grow up into a beautiful, strong young woman. Had been denied that luxury.
But denying herself the luxury of love wouldn’t change that. It wouldn’t bring Grace back.
“I’ve already booked in to see a psychiatrist here on the island. It’s time I addressed all this past shit that’s holding me back.” Reed was still down on his knees in front of her. Those patient, dark eyes fixed on her face. “I’m falling in love with you, Sierra. And I want to see where it might take us. We’d be good together. I know it. If only you’ll give me a chance.”
Could she? Could she forgive the man who had been partly responsible for her daughter’s death?
It was the hardest decision of her life.
Because if she forgave him, then she’d need to forgive herself, as well.
She stared into his eyes for untold seconds. He never wavered, never withdrew, just waited for her answer.
“Yes.” It was time to choose life. “I’d like to try.”
His bright smile lit up the entire deck. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” She gave him her first genuine smile in days in return. Now that she’d come to her conclusion, her heart felt like it was made of helium balloons. Her whole chest was expanding, and she might just float away. The weight that’d been holding her down like a thousand tons of lead drifted away into the clouds.
“That’s amazing. You’re amazing.” He was staring at her, that silly grin still on his face, as if a little dumbfounded by her words. The dimple was there in his chin, and that crooked nose that she loved so much.
“Perhaps I might go and see that psychiatrist as well. What was their name?” she said.
“Yes, yes. That’s a great idea.” He removed one of his hands from hers, and started fumbling around in his pocket as if looking for something to write the psychiatrist’s name on.
“Kiss me, you idiot,” she said with a laugh.
And he did, his firm lips landing on hers. Enticing, tempting. Drawing her tongue into his mouth. Stoking the warmth between her thighs into a flaring fire. When he drew back, his fingers traced a gentle line over the contours of her face, and she could tell by the slight narrowing of his eyes that he was worried about the bruising on her face; about hurting her.
Her body burned for him and she could hardly believe this man was hers. “Take me to bed,” she sighed into his fingertips.
“What about your mum and your friend?”
“They won’t be back for a while. Jen will keep Mum occupied. She knows when to give me space.”
“Hmm.” Reed didn’t sound sure, so she pulled his face toward her and kissed him long and hard, until he gave a grunt and swept her up into his arms. “Well, okay, when you put it like that…” He carried her into her bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. “What about your ankle?” He took a step back, as if seeing the cast for the first time.
“It’s not sore, if that’s what you mean.” Then she gave a wicked grin. “And if it gets in the way, we’ll just have to get more inventive, won’t we?” She beckoned to him with her finger, and he lay down next to her on the bed, tucking his arm under her head and holding himself up on one elbow so he could look down into her face.
“This is not all going to be easy sailing, you know. We might not make it through.” She thought she should warn him one last time, before they became so completely lost in each other and there was no turning back.
“We’ll make it, I have faith in us.” His mouth claimed hers and she believed him. They were meant to find each other. Meant to save each other. Against all odds. To be bound by truth.
