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Did he know how much she wanted to reach up and kiss him?
Did he understand what he was doing to her?
Of course he did. This was Alex Zacharidis. He knew exactly the impact his purposeful seduction was having on Tessa.
As he put her in the swirling spa water, she reminded herself that relaxing into this relationship would be the first step on a path to disaster, and yet she didn’t make any effort to remove herself from the situation. She simply watched, heart racing, blood firing.
He shucked off his shoes and shirt and trousers before stepping into the spa in only his boxer shorts, and then he was kissing her again, this time pulling her towards him as he sat, so she straddled him, her hair falling down her back in dark chestnut waves, every part of her singing at the perfection of this physical moment.
Tessa no longer believed she had a sensual bone in her body, so it was incredible to feel these responses, to know her body to be wanting him, and to feel evidence of the way in which he wanted her. After Jonathan, she’d presumed this part of her had been destroyed; feeling it stirring to life made her want to throw caution to the wind and make love to Alex, just to prove to herself that she was, in fact, capable of pleasure and pleasing.
Hunger drove her, making her ache to take him just like this, but he went slowly, slowly, chasing his fingers over her body, followed by his mouth, teasing her flesh with little flicks of his tongue then nips of his teeth, so sensual, so flirtatious, but nowhere near enough. Frustration made her growl because she didn’t want to be taunted. She wanted to be made love to, right now. Every single one of her fantasies was barrelling through her. The week of waiting had been all the foreplay she needed.
‘I want you,’ she declared against his throat, grinding her hips to prove her point, shocking herself with the power of her needs and also her directness.
‘That is something we share,’ he grunted, rolling his hips in an answering rhythm, then moving his mouth to her breast, taking a nipple between his teeth and wobbling it before withdrawing and flicking it instead with his tongue. She arched her back as arrows of pleasure shot through her and he laughed softly, then bit down again, sucking this time, so she whimpered, because it felt so damned good and yet it was still not enough.
His touch was so sure, so confidently demanding, and yet she was tumbling out of control—and even when racked by passion, she was innately terrified as well, because control offered protection and she had to protect herself.
Tessa pulled away from Alex, face pink, eyes sparkling when they met his. ‘But this is just sex, like we agreed in our contract.’
‘Well, it is Friday,’ he agreed, without missing a beat.
‘Right.’ The reassurance relaxed her, as much, at least, as Tessa was capable of relaxing in any circumstance like this. Her relationship with Jonathan hadn’t been easy, and on the handful of times they’d been intimate he’d been so critical of her that she’d lost all confidence. It was so easy to believe she was terrible in bed. The insults he’d thrown at her when he’d turned to other women, the way he’d looked at her... The insidious voice of self-doubt was peppering her mind, so she pulled away, needing to know that this wasn’t just a means to an end. ‘You know I’m still on the pill, right?’
He paused, and ice infiltrated her veins, until he lifted his shoulders. ‘Then this will not be the time we make a baby.’ He pushed up, kissing the skin on the side of her mouth. ‘But we can discuss contraceptives another time.’
Butterflies burst through her. So this wasn’t just a means to an end, he wasn’t using her desire for him to make a baby, yet she couldn’t get self-doubt out of her mind regardless. Old habits were too entrenched, and she had too much to overcome. Yes, there was Jonathan’s treatment of her, but at the root of it all, and the real reason Jonathan had been able to undermine her so successfully, was because of the way Alex had rejected her four years earlier.
The scathing way he’d looked at her, the way he’d spoken to her...
She would never forget it.
What if it happened again now? What if they slept together and then he responded in the same way? Panic exploded, so her brow beaded with sweat.
He kissed her hungrily, yet her pleasure ebbed, leaving only anxiety.
Sensing Tessa’s shift of mood, he pulled away, frowning a little as he scanned her face. ‘Are you okay, agape?’
Great. Just what she needed—kindness. From Alex. She blinked, turning her attention to the stunning view and pretending the kind of fascination that would befit someone who’d never before seen the ocean. ‘I’m fine. Let’s keep going.’
He made a sound of surprise, then moved, unseating her and shifting her to the tiled ledge beside him. Dark colour slashed his cheekbones, indignation carved his features into granite. ‘This is not supposed to be a chore, Theresa. Contract or not, we do not have to have sex.’
Her eyes flashed to his, and her stomach tied itself completely in knots. Maybe her first instinct was right, and he didn’t want her after all. And just like that, the sting of tears threatened the backs of her eyes, so she blinked quickly, doing her best to push them away. ‘It’s okay,’ she said, as though it didn’t matter. ‘I don’t mind either way.’
When he didn’t respond, she blinked towards him quickly, in time to see his jaw shifting as though he was grinding his teeth.
‘You’re annoyed with me?’ Just like Jonathan. This was a disaster.
‘No,’ he answered quickly, frowning. ‘I’m confused by you, but that’s okay.’
He had every right to be confused. A minute ago she’d been kissing him as though her life depended on it, and now she was completely devoid of desire.
‘It’s been a really long time for me,’ she whispered, unable to meet his eyes.
‘That’s all right.’ His gentle, kind response physically hurt her. She felt vulnerable—which she hated—and his kindness was just evidence that he saw her vulnerabilities and was taking pity on her. She almost groaned in frustration.
‘No, it’s not. I agreed to this. I can do it.’
