AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It was obvious that he liked her, and that he respected her. He went out of his way to make her happy. But none of that meant he loved her, nor that he would ever love her, for one simple reason: he didn’t want to. And Alex was not a man to feel something he didn’t welcome.
She was struck by the irony of buckling her seatbelt. It was protecting her from danger, but what about the danger that came from loving Alex as fiercely as she did? And what choice did she have?
Tessa’s pulse fired up a little, as misgivings began to hammer her from the inside out. How in the world could she make this marriage work if she loved him like this, and he didn’t feel the same way? And why hadn’t she seen this possibility was likely? She’d walked into this marriage so absolutely certain she could control it. What a fool she’d been!
The air simmered with tension as he drove home and expertly parked the car, coming around to her door before she could open it herself.
Once inside, he turned to face her again, his expression impossible to read. Neither spoke for several beats, and then they both did at once.
‘Alex—’
‘Listen, I—’
She compressed her lips. ‘You first.’
He nodded slowly. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Sure,’ she said, overbright. ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘That’s what I’m trying to work out. You were fine at your parents’. You say you’re happy for me to buy out your father. So what is it?’
How could she explain? How could she tell him the obsessive merry-go-round of thoughts she’d been navigating since realising she loved him? It wasn’t fair to put that pressure on him. Nothing had changed since he’d agreed to marry her. She couldn’t expect him to love her, just because she wanted him to. He’d made his feelings clear; it wasn’t his fault she’d broken their rules.
She lifted a hand to his chest, intending to say something placatory and then move away, but the second her skin connected with his muscled abdomen sparks exploded in her central nervous system.
‘Alex,’ she sighed, his name a whisper on her lips, a dream and a hope, even when she knew hope was stupid.
In response, he kissed her, hard, as if his frustration at not being able to understand her translated into a frantic need, his dominance overpowering Tessa, so she ran her hands over his body, aching to be close to him, to taste him and feel him.
The same needs were rampant within Alex. He slid his hands inside the waistband of her knickers, brushing his fingers over her sex, finding her flesh and teasing her, before sliding a finger into her moist core so she bucked hard against his hand, aching for more, aching for him. When he touched her like this, nothing else mattered. She felt complete, just in this moment, just for now.
He growled, low in his throat, and their clothes flew, each moving frantically to release them from fabric, to be naked together,
Stars danced in her eyes as his hand returned to her sex, pleasure burst on the tip of her tongue, and then she was exploding, digging her nails into his shoulders as sensations racked her body. Even as the waves were still rolling, not yet receding, he withdrew his hand and lifted her, pushing her back against the wall so he could thrust into her, his arousal filling her, his claim complete, and perfect. She whimpered into the curve of his neck, biting down on her tongue to stop herself from murmuring, over and over like an incantation, the words that were flooding her brain.
I love you. I love you.
But she felt them. Oh, how she felt them, right to the tips of her toes, as he moved within her and she felt the full force of that love. Their coming together was swift, their satisfaction mutual and powerful, their cries mingling as they burst into the heavens together, riding the wave, clinging to one another as though therein lay their only hope of salvation.
But as the waves of pleasure receded for Tessa she wondered if there was no hope of salvation here, but, rather, devastation.
Her first instinct had been to erect boundaries around their lives, to keep Alex at a distance. Had she known, even then, on the day she’d propositioned him, that love might be just as inevitable in this marriage as sex? Was that why she’d wanted to delineate how and when they’d be together?
Of course it was.
And that was no less important now than it had been then.
Unless...
She lifted her face, searching his eyes, looking for some hint of love, needing to know if perhaps he was fighting the same battle she was.
‘Tessa?’ Concern shaded his eyes.
‘I was...’ Uncertainty made her pause. If she did this, there’d be no going back. She could swallow these feelings and act as though she didn’t have them. She could force them back to the same rigid boundaries she’d implemented in the first place, and act as though that wasn’t killing her. But Alex deserved better, and she wanted more.
‘You were...?’ he prompted, and courage failed Tessa. She needed to talk to him, but it could wait.
‘It doesn’t matter.’ And before he could push the matter she kissed him again, doing her best not to think about the future, or the complications she’d welcomed by letting her foolish heart fall for him.
