Page 55 of Crowned For His Desert Twins

His words swirled around her, wrapping her into knots, so she didn’t know which way was up. ‘I’m not miserable,’ she contradicted quietly.

‘You are. I can see it in your eyes. Marrying you was a simple equation when I didn’t know you. Then you were just a woman I’d slept with.’ He frowned, a line forming between his brows. ‘No, you were never just that to me. I don’t know what I’m saying. It was easier when I still thought you capable of—’

‘When you didn’t care about my feelings,’ she said with a tight lift of her lips.

‘Yes.’ He was arrogant enough to cross his arms over his chest and stare at her unapologetically, but a moment later he grimaced, shaking his head. ‘What a monumental ass that makes me. As though I had any right to dictate this decision to you.’

‘You didn’t dictate, you persuaded.’

‘I persuaded by employing threats. That is no different from dictating. If I had given you a true choice, would you have made this one, India?’ He didn’t wait for her to respond. ‘Of course you wouldn’t.’ The words were grim, and it was obvious that he was angry with himself.

‘You don’t know that.’ She paced slowly towards him, but then changed direction, moving across the room instead. Space was needed. ‘I have always known I wanted a family.’

‘A true family,’ he interrupted gruffly, shaking his head. ‘A husband who loves you, children who were created out of that love. Not this.’

Her heart stammered. ‘I do love you. So far as I’m concerned, our children are born of love, even if it’s not mutual.’

‘That’s not a good enough reason to marry,’ he said firmly, loudly, his voice shaking her so she flinched, and he groaned. ‘Damn it, India, this isn’t enough for you. Any fool can see you deserve better than what I can give you. This marriage was a mistake, but, fortunately, not one I will live to regret.’

Pain seared her. She stared at him, struggling to draw breath.

‘I will take legal advice on the line of succession,’ he said quietly. ‘As I should have done from the beginning. I understand the importance of ensuring their birthright. If needs be, we may marry purely for their birth, and dissolve the marriage almost immediately. I appreciate that is still far from ideal—’

‘Stop.’ Anger shifted through her; the word emerged as a roar. ‘Just, stop this.’

Surprised by her outburst, he did so.

‘You just said you persuaded me into this marriage, rather than giving me any real choice, and now you’re doing exactly the same thing about cancelling our marriage. Don’t you care what I want?’

‘All I care about is what you want!’ he responded with strange determination, so an odd, uncertain suspicion began to flicker to life in the recesses of her brain.

‘And you think I want this?’

‘Yes. Clearly.’

‘Why is it clear?’

‘Because I can see the fear in your eyes. The hesitation in your steps. A bride should glow with pleasure, and you do not.’ He moved closer and she sucked in a deep breath, bracing for his nearness. ‘You deserve to marry a man who makes you glow.’

‘And how will you feel then, Khalil?’

He stopped walking and stared at her, his eyes a stormy grey with flecks of gold showing uncertainty.

‘If we don’t marry now, and in a year’s time I meet someone else. How will you feel?’

‘Relieved,’ he said, but that flicker of doubt burst into a full flame. Her heart began to pound.

‘Oh, yeah?’ she whispered. ‘Then why do I only see fear in your face? Is that what all this is about, Khalil? You’re afraid?’

He stared down at her, his nostrils flaring. ‘Of what?’

‘Of loving me! Loving someone is an act of faith. You have to trust them not to hurt you, and Fatima betrayed that trust, so you’re afraid to trust me, even though you know I’m different. But more than that—and here’s what you really need to understand—loving someone isn’t a choice. Do you think you can end our engagement and whatever feelings are in here—’ she jabbed her finger into his chest ‘—will simply go away? Do you think you’ll stop thinking about me? Do you think you’ll stop wanting me?’

‘I think you’ll be happy.’

‘I won’t be, because you’re the man I love. Like I said, it’s not a choice. I can’t simply box away those feelings and move on to some other guy. I don’t want to move on.’

‘Even if I can never give you what you want?’

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