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And the puppy of a boy nodded, not looking up.
“Got it, Dad, got it all.”
That caused me to look up, meeting Rob’s eyes in surprise, because it was the first time I’d ever heard Jonah call Rob “Dad” and not “Rob” or “Robert.” And Mr. Martin looked just as surprised, his eyebrows lifted although his tone was smooth.
“Well let me know if you need anything,” he rumbled. “Anything at all. I’ll be here for another day or two, but then I’m off to Tokyo to consult for a new venture.”
And my heart plummeted. Tokyo? That was about as far from New York as you could get. When would I see him again? In fact, would I ever see him again? My lungs hurt, my heart beating as I contemplated the possibility.
But the front door swung shut slowly and that was that. Mr. Martin was gone, and a chapter of my life closed, even though I wasn’t ready. Zombie-like, I walked to the elevator, only half-listening as Jonah chattered on about this or that, tuning the conversation out. All I wanted was to get back to school, burrow my head in the pillow and sob, let the emotions seep through me, drain from my brain if need be.
But a word caught my ear, the haze lifting for a split second.
“Break up?” I parroted, coming to for a moment, tilting my head quizzically at Jonah.
And the boy nodded. We were on the subway now, riding the train downtown towards campus, and he looked down at his hands, twisted in his lap as we barreled through dark tunnels.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything before Thanksgiving because you didn’t have a place to go, didn’t have a place to stay. But Ally,” he took a deep breath. “I think we need to break up. In fact, I know we need to.”
I was stunned, but not from horror or sorrow. I was stunned because the NYC subway was such a weird place to break up. Why couldn’t he wait until we got back to the dorms, or at least a coffee shop? Seriously, Jonah was a really odd duck.
But honestly, I was relieved because this was a long time coming, and if he hadn’t started the conversation, then I was going to. Jonah and I had never been a couple. We’d never shared secrets or confided in one another, or touched each other in lust. In short, we were never anything, and a break-up was absolutely right, setting us free to pursue our individual interests, wherever life led next.
But I didn’t want to seem relieved and happy, arousing his suspicions, so I schooled my expression into a sorrowful frown.
“But why?” I asked plaintively. “Is it something I did?”
And Jonah hemmed and hawed for a moment. I bet he was going to blame it on me somehow, he wasn’t exactly the type of guy to take responsibility, but surprisingly he didn’t.
“Naw, it’s me, Ally. I’ve got some things to figure out, it has nothing to do with you.”
Okay, that was fine, it was enough. After all, I didn’t expect him to bust out with a long explanation of how he was into BDSM, how his childhood friend was actually his dominatrix, that was going too far. So I accepted this as his explanation and just nodded my head slowly.
“It’s no problem, we were drifting apart anyways,” I said genuinely. “We’re on different paths, and these paths don’t really cross anymore, we were more like two cars going in different directions, instead of two people in the same car.”
Jonah grew beet red.
“Yeah, that’s it,” he muttered. “Anyways, just thought I should let you know in case, you know, you wanted to get it on. I’m not the guy for it, you don’t cause fireworks for me. Another guy would be better for you, he might be able to explore the unknown, go where I didn’t go.”
And I choked then, hurriedly converting it into a slight cough like I had a cold. Go where he hadn’t? Another guy exploring the unknown? More like his own father had already plumbed my depths, taken that which I had to give, made love to me again and again, with Jonah sleeping right down the hall the entire time.
But there was no need for the boy to know, he had so much growing up to do, so I just patted his knee and stood up.
“No worries, we’re both gonna be fine,” I said with a half-smile. “I’ll see you in class okay?”
And with that, the train pulled into the station and Jonah leapt to his feet, backpack slung over his shoulder.
“Yeah, absolutely,” he muttered as the doors opened, and we streamed outside, lost among the crowd, the throngs of people immediately separating us. I took a deep breath. Well, that was that. My one and only “relationship” was over, although it’d never really begun. And yet I had an ache in my heart because I missed Mr. Martin. It was as if this break-up had been with Mr. Martin the senior and not his son. What was I going to do?
