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“Won’t the mom go to the play too?”

He shook his head. “There are like eight performances, and she’s already been twice. Meanwhile, the other teen is home sick.”

“And what about the surgeon?”

“Speaking at a medical convention in Salt Lake City. He flew out early this morning, and the Horn’s data shows it still at home.”

I winced. “Yeah, that’s less circumstantial. So, if it’s the wife’s Horn that’s being used as a front for cartel transactions…”

“Then sweet Mrs. Dacosta, former debutante and current secretary of the neighborhood garden club, is a very bad girl,” Hux finished with a grin.

“Woah.”

“Mmhm. So get to distractin’, HogDoc.”

I hopped on my Horn and maneuvered through the game, grabbing a few easy pips and using them to upgrade my enhanced birdseed to enchanted birdseed. I sprinkled it on the path ahead of me and then entered the username of our target. My character immediately appeared next to her in the game, so I quickly checked her stats—high game-play hours, but very few tournament wins, which made sense if she spent a lot of time in the game for nefarious purposes—then typed out a greeting.

HogDocKev: Love those rain pearls on your hat! They’re always sold out when I have enough pips to get some.

OnCallWidow: Thanks. You should see my collection. *winky face*

HogDocKev: OMG, you collect them? How cool! I collect unicorn tail wigs. I even have the limited edition commemorative one they only made for the royal jubilee.

Hux muttered, “Braggart,” under his breath after reading the messages on the large monitor.

OnCallWidow: Wait, I’ve heard of you! You’re the guy who has the Hedgerow of Health booster AND the Apple Butter Booster, right? That makes you almost immortal! You’re probably the best player in all of HOG.

“Debatable,” Hux commented. “Some might say patently false.”

I flashed him a quick grin. This was the Hux I was used to, snark and all.

HogDocKev: I’ve just played longer than most people. The game is harder for newbies than it is for longer-standing players like you and me, you know?

Hux made a sort of strangled noise.

“What?” I lifted my chin. “My friend Smitty explained it to me, and he was right. More people need to be aware if we want things to change.”

OnCallWidow: Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. So, is it true you grow hexing thorn fruit? The poisoned kind that can even kill an orc who’s been charmed with sparrowflox? Could you show me how?

I sighed. “Some people aren’t ready for change, I guess.”

“Cartel operatives, not a demographic known for their commitment to fair play.”

“True.”

HogDocKev: I can. I usually only share my secret with people who help me on quests. But we can do one right now if you w—

Hux reached out a hand to stop me before I could finish the message. “Too much.” He flicked a glance at my face. “Back off a little. Trust me.”

I deleted my last line and added a new one.

HogDocKev: I can. I usually only share my secret with people who help me on quests. Let me know if you’d be interested sometime.

As I moved my character away from OnCallWidow, I saw Hux nod in approval. Then, like he couldn’t help himself, he added, “Not that hexing thorn fruit are so impressive or whatever. I mean, I’ve done just fine without them.”

I turned toward him. “Would you like to know how to grow them?”

“Pfft. No.” He paused. “Maybe.”

“Because I only share that secret with people who can manage to be civil to me two entire days in a row,” I said sweetly.

“Me?” Slashes of red appeared on his cheekbones. “I’m civil. I’m not the one pretending last night was a bad dream.”

“I… What?” I blinked at him for a second before the penny dropped, then once it did, I smacked his arm. “You idiot. I meant that I was so tired from all the dancing I needed caffeine so I could convince myself I’d had a proper night’s sleep. And I didn’t say a bad dream. I said bizarre.” I lifted one eyebrow. “Which is accurate.”

“Oh,” Hux grunted, his cheeks redder than ever. The second recorded occurrence of Jasper Huxley blushing. “I might have misunderstood. I’m running on about two hours of sleep between the op and the vet visit.”

“And the sourcing of a certain golden duck?”

He shrugged and turned his face away. “No, that… no.”

“Thank you,” I said earnestly. I hesitated, on the verge of saying something way too sweet about how he didn’t have to do every damn thing by himself, or maybe to ask what he thought about last night, when my notifications pinged again.

OnCallWidow: OMG, really? Yes! Anytime. How about today?

Hux’s excited smile spread across his face like a sunrise. “You got her.”

“We got her.”

HogDocKev: Sure. We could do one today if you want. I’m trying to qualify for the HOGCon tournament and I need to complete one more level eight acquisition quest.

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