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The kiss we shared was for right now. That was it.
It was only to prove to myself that I could have physical contact without emotional attachment. That I could give him what he wanted, take what I needed, and move on.
Maybe even prove to us both that we were all wrong for each other.
We wouldn’t be good as fuck buddies. We wouldn’t be good as friends with benefits.
And we…
Fuck.
He fisted the hair at the back of my head so tightly, I wasn’t able to move away even if I wanted to. His other hand trailed down my spine to find my ass and dig his fingertips into my denim-covered flesh, pulling me even tighter against him. His hard cock ground against mine.
When he groaned into my mouth, I greedily accepted it and gave him one in return. Though, I hadn’t meant to.
I didn’t want to let him know how much I wanted him. How much I needed this physical contact. How much I was enjoying this kiss. The one that was planned, not the one sprung on me when I wasn’t ready.
Tonight, I was ready.
I was also ready for more.
I kept telling myself if what happened tonight went farther than a kiss, it would mean nothing. It would be for nothing but sexual relief.
We were only satisfying our base needs.
For the last three days I kept telling myself that we could keep it to sex, that it didn’t have to go any farther than that. Just some simple, very needed physical contact.
No attachments. Nothing more.
No risk of emotional damage.
No risk of further destruction to my already scratched and dented heart.
He slid his hand up my ass again, stopping at the waistband of my jeans, then drove his fingers between the denim and my hot-as-hell skin.
His touch seared me, stoked the fire licking in my belly. Made me tilt my head and take his mouth more thoroughly, shove my tongue deeper, taste every corner.
The catch of his breath… The way his cock slid along mine… The way he pulled on my scalp until it made my eyes sting… The way his fingers played along the crack of my ass…
Everything he did lit me up from the inside out. It caused those flickering flames to become a roaring bonfire.
Driving me to want more. Need more.
I jerked him around and, with our bodies still crushed together, I began to walk backwards, careful not to break our connection. He stayed with me every damn step of the way as I moved us from the kitchen toward the hallway that had to lead to his bedroom.
I realized then, while I had prepared myself mentally for the kiss, I had not prepared myself for anything that might come of it.
I brought nothing with me. No condoms. No lube. Nothing.
If he didn’t have any of that, we were dead in the water.
And if he did have all of that, who had he used those with in the past?
Nobody in this town from what it sounded like. He was forced to go elsewhere. Did he risk bringing another man home and hope that no one saw them?
He said he wasn’t “out” in Eagle’s Landing. I understood why but that meant if he was having sex, he had to travel for it.
Why did I even care? Why was I fixated on who else Rett might have had sex with or who he might still be having sex with.
A “fuck buddy.”
Maybe he had them in every nearby town and wanted to make me one, as well, because I’d be closer and more convenient.
I stopped leading when he took over, using the grip on my hair and ass to tug me along since I didn’t know which door led to his bedroom.
He backed down the hallway slowly and we somehow managed to keep the kiss going. Our lips not separating once.
I couldn’t get enough of his mouth on me, the way his tongue fought with mine for control, the deep rumble that rolled from the back of his throat.
My cock throbbed, my balls became heavy. My heart pounded like a bass drum at a hard rock concert. For a split moment, I hoped my reactions weren’t from a panic attack.
Now was not the time for one of those. When I lost my sight, when I lost my hearing, when I lost all sense of where I was. When everything became overwhelming and all I wanted to do was squeeze my eyes shut and curl up into a ball until it passed.
He released my hair and ass, reached behind him to shove open his bedroom door wider and finally, I yanked my mouth away.
Something brushed against my leg and I assumed it was Timber but I didn’t look because I couldn’t pull my eyes from Rett’s.
His pupils were so wide it made his eyes appear almost pure black. His chest heaved at the same rate as mine. A flush rose from the stretched-out neckline of his shirt and colored his throat. His lips were parted and quick puffs of air escaped.
