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He deserved so much better than me. Even for one night. “I should go.”
“But you won’t.”
I hardly knew him but somehow, he knew me all too well. He had a gift or something. “You’re very sure of yourself.”
“And you’re very unsure of yourself.”
I was never like that prior, but, damn it, he was correct once again. That fact made him even more irritating. “That’s why I should go.”
He finally released our interlinked hands and bracketed my face within his warm fingers, lightly brushing his right thumb across my cheek and beard. “It’s actually why you shouldn’t.”
His touch did things to me I didn’t want to explore and I forced myself to keep from rubbing my cheek against his palm. To keep from encouraging him to continue to caress me.
I was barely keeping myself together as it was.
I was afraid if I allowed him to comfort or console me, I might just break down and shatter. If I did, I might not be able to put the scattered pieces back together again.
“Give it a chance. That’s all I’m asking. If it’s awkward or the chemistry that I think we have turns out to not exist, then fine, we can simply remain friends.”
“We’re not friends now.”
The grin on his face turned genuine. “We are. You just don’t realize it.”
Damn, he was handsome as hell. And, of course, he knew it.
A smile. A touch. A few words. He didn’t have to work hard to draw me in.
That also scared the hell out of me.
If I wasn’t in the particular spot I was in in my life right now, I would be on him like white on rice. But I knew I was messed up. I knew why I was messed up. And despite wishing otherwise, I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
I had willingly jumped down Thomas’s deep, dark well thinking I could help pull him back out. I obviously failed and did not need to drag anyone else down along with me. I didn’t want to be responsible for taking a happy, very content guy like Rett and make him as miserable as I was.
All because he wanted to have sex with me.
And because I wanted to have sex with him.
My lips twisted downward. “Only sex. No expectations other than that, right?”
“I said I would take what you’re willing to give me.”
“Why would you be okay with the bare minimum?”
He shrugged. “Because right now I have nothing.”
That was hardly true. “You have plenty.” He had a bookstore, his author career, a great apartment, a town who was supportive, and a loyal dog.
“You know what I mean.”
I absolutely did.
I was staring at a man who had a boatload less hang-ups than I had. I couldn’t fault him for that.
“Fine,” came out of me on a whisper so weak, I could hardly hear it myself.
His eyebrows shot up his forehead. “What?”
I grimaced, sucked in air and said, “Okay,” but it wasn’t much louder.
My heart raced as I waited for a bolt of lightning to strike me dead for cheating on a man who was no longer alive. Stupid, I knew. I wished I could get that nagging guilt out of my head, but I couldn’t.
“I didn’t hear you.”
I leaned in closer, until we were nose to nose and repeated, “Okay.”
As soon as his eyes widened and his mouth opened, I captured it with my own.
Two pounding heartbeats later, my cock had once again turned into steel, and our tongues were dancing a tango.
With his hands bracing my hips, he rocked his back and forth, grinding his cock against mine, driving me a little out of my mind. But that was exactly what I needed. To forget everything else but the man I was kissing.
The man I was about to fuck.
Damn. Who was fucking whom? I hadn’t considered that. Not when I drove down my mountain, not when I drove through town, not even when I parked my Bronco next to his Chevy truck.
I really didn’t think it would ever get this far.
Once again, I was wrong. It was about to go farther than I expected.
When he took over the kiss and pushed my tongue from his mouth and back into my own, I was beginning to think this might not work out anyway. If neither of us wanted to bottom, that could put a wrench in this whole thing.
And the way he was kissing me made me think he was not normally a bottom.
I wasn’t, either.
That could be a problem.
I’d been married to Thomas—and more recently, celibate—for so long, I was rusty when it came to the ins and outs of dating. Or in this case, a hookup.
I was pretty much starting all over again and would have to fumble my way through it.
Would it be worth it?
I jerked when he pinched one of my nipples, drawing me from my wandering thoughts.
