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“I’ll let that go because I know you’re angry. I’ve been in the same exact situation. It does get easier. I lost two daughters, Liliana. I’m not particularly joyous about this. I refuse to lose a third. You might hate me now, but I promise I’m doing this because I love you.”

Shockingly, she did seem genuinely upset about this. But I didn’t understand anything else she was talking about. Wasn’t I the second daughter?

“If you don’t like it then why are you doing it?”

“Because even someone as affluent as I must acquiesce to the syndicate’s rules,” she replied with a touch of bitterness.

What kind of monarchy bullshit was this? She gave me a tight smile and reached for her own glass of water. “I should have been more careful. I thought you’d be fine enjoying life like a normal girl.”

“Normal?” I echoed disbelievingly. “Nothing about my life has ever been normal.”

“You couldn’t be kept completely ignorant of certain aspects, no. Your initiation would be a disaster and over before it began if we sheltered you completely.”

What initiation? I began to crack, running my hands over my face in frustration, pulling in a deep breath of air.

If I countered with every question that I had, we’d be here for the next two years. “I don’t know half of what you’re saying. So why don’t you tell me what you want Pandora.”

Her features became pinched with a deep frown. I’d never called her by name before and it clearly struck a nerve. “You really let that vile boy get to you.”

“At least he told me the truth.”

She laughed derisively.

“Oh, Hija. I’d never aim to trample your heart, but a rule of thumb is that men are never as transparent as they pretend to be.” Shaking her head, she reached into the pocket of her suit. “I thought you knew better. I blame myself too, I see now where I went wrong which is we’re both going to do better.”

She removed a bottle of pills and sat them on the table between us.

There was no name or label for me to discern what they were. I looked from them to her questioningly.

“We’re going to start over. It won’t be pleasant at first but in the long run, you won’t remember that.”

“What do you mean? What are those for?”

“That’s nothing but a means to an end. The real work starts with ECT and sessions with a crew of highly qualified individuals that only work for our family.”

I sat taller, preparing to bolt from the table if necessary.

Every word out of her mouth painted a grim picture of my indefinite future.

“You want to experiment on me?”

“Absolutely not!” she objected as if genuinely offended. “This is a tried and so far, true method that we’ve been using for close to a year if the individual is worth it. A few of your friends from Sainte’s have already begun the process. Melantha and Gracelyn will be joining as well. Your compliance would do them wonders.”

In the end, it was the mention of them that stopped me from doing anything rash. Her threat was wrapped in faux words of encouragement. They hadn’t been texting back because their families had already moved on them.

“How did you know about Sainte’s?” I found myself asking.

“A birdie came and told me all about it a few weeks ago. I’m proud of you, by the way.”

Her praise meant fuck all to me. I wanted to know who came running to her and why. Weeks? It had been months since that night. I swallowed a bite of lettuce that tasted like lead. There were only six people that survived Judicium. That left three possible choices.

Gnawing my inner cheek, the severity of this situation began to sink in. In an attempt to help my sister, I’d screwed myself. Or maybe this wasn’t about Lamia at all.

“Is this family feud really worth all of this?”

“They’ve taken enough from me.” She looked into my eyes to drive home her answer. “You have no idea what was done. It’s like history keeps repeating itself and every time the ending is a goddamn tragedy.”

Upon hearing those words, a sense of Deja-Vu swept over me. I’d had a thought of this same degree months ago. I was a tragedy waiting to happen. That was coming to fruition at the expense of the people I loved.

I looked around the room, turning that over in my head. “What exactly are you going to do to me?”

“Your family won’t be doing anything but guiding you through reprogramming. We want you partially ready for what’s to come. Your medical team is responsible for removing the bad memories.”

I laughed incredulously. “You’re going to remove my memories?”

“Most people always have that reaction. I’d say you’ll see, but you won’t even remember this conversation happened.”

She was being serious.

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