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When I sat down with Coach the other day, he initially tried to talk me out of my decision. It didn’t take long for him to realize that nothing was going to sway me. He went silent for about ten seconds before leaning forward in his chair and steepling his hands together. He told me that I might have come into his program almost four years ago as a boy, but I was leaving it a man old enough to make his own choices in life. With nothing else left to say, we rose to our feet and shook hands before I walked out of his office with a mixture of relief and sadness filling my heart.
When Crosby shoves into me for the second time, I bare my teeth.
His upper lip curls. “You gonna give us an answer or what?”
So far, I’ve been pretty lowkey about my relationship.
“Lola has a surgery scheduled for the same day as the game.” I meet each of their gazes in turn, wanting them to understand how serious this is without me having to put it into words. “I don’t feel right about traveling out of state and leaving her here alone.”
A heavy silence falls over the group as they digest that information.
“Well, shit. Is she all right?” Crosby asks, expression sobering as concern weaves its way through his voice.
“Yeah, she’s fine. She’s donating a kidney to her half-sister.”
“Wow,” Easton says. “I had no idea.”
“I didn’t realize you two had grown so close,” Crosby says.
I give him a bit of side-eye. “Well, we have.”
Rowan nods before clapping me on the shoulder. He’s always been the quietest and most levelheaded one of the bunch. He’s the one our teammates seek out when they want solid advice. “If that’s what you need to do, then you have our support.”
Air escapes from my lungs in a rush. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
I hate that I’m letting down my teammates when they need me most, but it doesn’t feel like I have a choice in the matter. It’s a relief that they understand. And if they don’t, Rowan will knock their heads together until they do.
“You’ll be missed,” Crosby grumbles from beside me. “You’re the best safety we got.”
“Thanks, but I don’t think you guys will have any trouble holding your own. This is what we’ve been working toward all year. Hell, all four of them.”
“You’re an integral part of this team,” Rowan says solemnly. “Don’t fool yourself into believing otherwise.”
Thick emotion gathers in my throat, making it impossible to keep my voice level. But I’ll be damned if I embarrass myself in front of them. It’s a relief when we walk through the tunnel and into the locker room.
What I need right now is to shake off the melancholy that has fallen over me. And the perfect way to do that is by spending a little quality time with my girl. Now that finals are over, we’re supposed to go out and celebrate that I’ve passed all my classes.
I’ll never have to see Dr. Nichols again.
Thank fuck.
After showering, I wrap a towel around my waist and beeline for my locker. I’m impatient to get the hell out of here. All I want to do is wrap my arms around Lola and hold her tight. I have no idea why everything feels better when she’s tucked against me, but there’s no denying that it does.
I yank on my sweatpants and T-shirt before grabbing my black Wildcats football sweatshirt from my locker. Once my athletic duffel is in hand, I pull out my phone, ready to fire off a text.
Except there’s already one waiting for me.
Sorry. Have to cancel our plans. Called in to work.
My eyes narrow as I silently contemplate the message.
Normally, I wouldn’t think anything of it. Lola picks up shifts at the restaurant whenever she can. I fucking hate that she has to work so hard just to keep her head above water. I try to pay for as much as I can when we’re together, but she doesn’t like it. And she refuses to accept money when I offer it. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as fiercely independent or proud as she is.
It’s just another quality I love about her.
Here’s where it gets tricky—I dropped the I-love-you bomb five days ago, and she’s been acting weird ever since. There have been several times when we’ve been together, and I’ve caught her zoning out with a small frown on her face.
With the upcoming surgery, I know she’s got a lot on her mind. I’ve tried not to read too much into the change in her behavior or take the distance she’s trying to put between us personally. But in the back of my head, I’m worried she’s pulling away. This is the third time she’s bailed on me. And she barely calls or texts. I’m always the one chasing her ass down.
