Page 12 of Once Upon a Grump


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Max was singing some kind of rap song under her breath, complete with hand gestures and knee bends to the beat. I looked down at her, unamused.

She rolled her eyes when she saw me looking. “Let me guess, you’re more of a classical music type? Actually, no. I bet you just listen to podcasts. Probably shit on self-improvement. Do you repeat positive affirmations to yourself in the mirror every morning?”

I stared at the elevator doors, refusing to answer. Yes, I fucking liked podcasts, you little shit. But I actually preferred productivity podcasts.

I found Lola in my chair when we reached my office. She was holding one of my paperweights and looking at it with a tilted head. She nearly dropped it when she saw us. Lola popped to her feet and smiled. She planted a palm on my desk and leaned as if she was the most relaxed woman in the world. “Took you a while,” she breathed.

“Lola, this is Maxine.”

“Max,” my niece corrected. At some point, she’d put an obscene amount of bubble gum in her mouth. She strode over to Lola and reached to shake her hand, chewing obnoxiously the whole time.

Lola smiled wide and took the handshake. She winced, and I cleared my throat. “Don’t break her, Max.”

Max looked like she gave Lola’s hand one more squeeze, then stepped back and shoved her hands in the pockets of her dress.

“Hey!” Lola said, pointing. “Your dress has pockets? So does mine!” she stuck her hands in her pockets and swayed her hips like she was posing for an impromptu photo shoot.

Max turned and walked back towards me, but I thought I saw her cold features threatening to crack into a smile. “Am I done, Uncle Stones?” she asked.

“No. Sit over there.”

She rolled her eyes so hard I was worried she might throw out her back but wandered over to sprawl in a chair at the side of the room.

Lola’s gaze was shifting between me and Max. “Why is your niece a secret that needs an NDA?”

“Sit.” I pointed to the chair, and Lola moved to it, but seemed too revved up to actually sit. She just leaned on the chair back, fingers drumming.

I took my own chair on the other side of the desk, sighing as I sat. I was really getting tired of explaining all of this. “Two months ago, I unexpectedly took guardianship of my niece. It’s critical that this stays as private as possible.”

“Why?” Lola asked.

“That’s not information you need to know. All you need to know is you’re signed to secrecy. If the information is leaked and I find you responsible, you’ll face absolute financial ruin.”

“He’s a real charmer, isn’t he?” Max chimed in from the side of the room.

“Quiet,” I snapped.

“If you wanted me to keep my mouth shut, you probably shouldn’t have brought me, Stones.”

I caught Lola suppressing a smile. I glared, which helped wipe it from her face.

“I brought you because words don’t fully express what a pain in the ass you are,” I said. “If Lola is going to turn down the job, I’d rather know as soon as possible.”

“Sounds like I’m doing you a favor by being obnoxious,” Max noted.

“I don’t think you’re obnoxious,” Lola said, turning her head to give Max a genuine smile.

Max didn’t seem to have a response for that, so she just folded her arms and blew a big bubble that somehow didn’t explode on her face and in her hair.

“So…” Lola said. “You said you needed someone to tutor and look after Max. How would that work, exactly? Everybody downstairs thinks I’m your new executive assistant.”

“And they will keep thinking that.” I trailed off when she finally decided to sit, and her dress rode up to give me a glimpse of smooth thighs and the tantalizing triangle of shadow between her legs. I wondered if she kept her underwear professional, or if she was the playful type. Fuck. I needed to get it together.

“Are you okay?” Lola asked.

I waved off her question and continued as if I hadn’t just veered into sexually fantasizing about a woman I definitely wasn’t attracted to. “My staff needs to believe you’re my executive assistant. Otherwise, they’ll ask questions about what your purpose is here and why you’re frequently visiting the top floors.”

“And if I quit after a few days they’ll just think I was scared off by the big bad Mr. Stone and his ego?”

“I don’t have an ego. But yes.”

“You totally have an ego,” Max said. “A guy without an ego wouldn’t have like a zillion ties and suits in every color.” She lowered her voice to a mockingly deep tone. “Do I want dark green today, or dark dark green? Or maybe slightly less dark green?”

“Enough,” I snapped. “Miss Thorn. I need you to decide now if you’ll accept this job or not.”

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