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“Her name was Heather Veracruz. And yes, she is the CEO of a logistics company. They deal with shipping containers in seven different continents.”
“And?” Lola prompted.
I sighed. I could tell she wasn’t going to let this go. “And I still haven’t learned why you left your life in New York behind. How am I supposed to learn about your past if I spill all my secrets?”
She folded her arms, glaring.
“Well?” I asked. “What’s the story? Are you still in touch with anyone from the city?”
“No, and I feel terrible about it. I’ve just been screening my calls, texts, and voicemails. Nobody even knows where I went. Not even my best friend Kate.”
I stared. “What the hell happened?”
“Do we have to do this? I changed my mind. You can keep your secrets about this Veracruz girl.”
“Are you in danger?” I asked.
Lola laughed, but then frowned as if she hadn’t considered the question fully. “No. Probably not.”
“Probably not? Lola, if there’s any chance you’re in some kind of danger, you are going to tell me right now. I can’t protect you if I don’t know what’s coming.”
“It’s not anything like that,” she sighed. “I just might’ve pissed off a few… dozenish people, including my ex.”
“Ex-husband?” I asked. My throat was suddenly tight and felt like sandpaper. Was she married? I had this image of who Lola was and felt like my understanding of her was shifting too quickly.
“Fiancé,” she corrected.
“Start from the beginning.”
Lola looked like she was about to tear up, but she took a shaky breath, then met my eyes. “I’m not ready to explain everything yet, okay? But I did something and it sort of made just about everybody in my life decide I was basically the worst person in the world. And because I’m a fucking coward, I ran instead of staying in New York to deal with the fallout.”
“Hey,” I said, getting up to go to her. She was crying now and her shoulders were shaking. I lifted her from her seat and wrapped her in my arms. “I’m sorry I asked. You can tell me when you’re ready.”
She sniffled, nodding against my chest. “So does that mean you’ll tell me about this ex of yours now?”
I laughed. “You’re relentless. And yes, I can’t handle seeing you cry. Will you promise to stop if I tell you?”
“Maybe,” she sniffled.
I kept her in my arms while I talked, staring out at the mountains behind her building. “Being with Heather made sense. We were both so busy with work that we hardly had time for each other. She understood my obligations as a CEO and I understood hers. And little by little, she kept wanting more. She started talking about leaving her company so she could be with me–really be with me. Meeting every few weekends wasn’t enough for her anymore.”
“Well, duh,” Lola laughed. I was glad to hear she didn’t sound as emotional anymore. I really couldn’t handle the sight of her crying. That was dangerous. I would’ve done or said anything to help cheer her up just then. The damn woman had too much power over me. Far too much.
“I pulled away,” I said. “I made excuses, but I think I honestly didn’t want to give up time at the company. We were still growing and there was so much to do. It felt like she wanted me to choose between her and the company, so I chose the company. Once she sensed it, she broke things off.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No,” I said immediately. “There will be time for all of that in a few years. For now, I’m building my legacy.”
She pulled back, looking up at me. Her eyes were still a little puffy and glassy, but she wasn’t crying at least. “Does it make you happy? The company?”
“I’m proud of what I’ve built.”
“That’s not what I asked. Are you happy?”
“Happiness is for children and retirees.”
Lola pulled even further back, hanging her mouth open at me and staring. “You did not just say that.”
I grinned. “I did. If I start worrying about whether I’m happy, how the hell will I get anything done?”
“What is the freaking point of getting things done if it’s not making you happy?” she asked. She looked genuinely shocked at my words, which made me question if I really was crazy for my views.
“To make something worth remembering,” I said, but I already sensed there was no convincing her on this.
“No.” She shook her head violently. “Alright, we have a new mission. I’m going to teach you to be happy, and you’re going to let me.”
“Lola… I have too much on my plate to worry about shit like that.”
“You want to know something? I spent a long time trying to convince myself I was happy enough in my old life. Everything was just good enough. Sure, there were some little problems here and there. And maybe if I looked closer, they’d look more like big problems. But I could deal with it because I convinced myself it was okay to be happy enough. And then I woke up one day and realized it wasn’t okay. I deserved to be all the way happy. I shouldn’t have to close one eye and avoid looking in certain directions. I wanted to have my arms and eyes wide open, a smile on my face, the sun on my back, and a freaking pony in my backyard.”
