Page 71 of Once Upon a Grump


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“Alright, alright,” the old woman said through the speakers. “Where should we start our little tour?” Her accent was so heavy it sounded like she was asking where we would start the Jewish Holy Book instead of a tour. “We could go to Queens, eh? Who wouldn’t want to be Queens for a day? Or Staten Island always floats my boat. Then again, the views from the Empire State Building couldn’t be NYCer… Get it? Okay, yeah, that one makes more sense if you write it out.”

I turned to look at Lola. “I didn’t know she would be so…”

“She’s perfect!” Lola said, smiling wide and squeezing my arm into a hug.

I couldn’t help smirking at the look on her face.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry for Yankee-ing your chains, but it only gets worse from here, folks. Buckle up! Actually, you can’t. This bus has no seat belts for passengers. If the passengers don’t need belts, why do they give me one? Huh? I’ve always wondered that.”

“I thought a bus tour would involve more… touring,” I said.

“Oh, sometimes they do. But the best ones are when you get a crazy driver like this. I don’t care what she shows us. I’m just enjoying the ride.”

“Anyway,” the old woman continued. “I read this story last night about a guy who has been pulling up two-hundred and fifty pound catfishes from the Hudson. Big deal, I say. I do that every day on Tinder.”

“Do you think she’s really on Tinder?” Lola asked, eyes bulging.

“I think she must’ve looked up a list of bad puns on the internet and made a list of them to torture us.”

Lola smiled and slid her hand into mine. I squeezed it and found myself leaning back, idly looking out over the street while our crazy grandma driver continued to blare very bad, cheesy jokes into our ears.

I could almost forget that Adrian Bellamo had a figurative gun to my head. I could even mostly forget one of the other reasons I’d decided to come to New York–that Adrian’s father, Luco Bellamo operated out of the city.

Lola and I had gone at breakneck speed from hating each other to casually fucking and then to dating and holding hands like a pair of high school kids. But none of that seemed to stop me from feeling like I’d do anything to protect this. I wanted to have her to myself, and I wanted to keep my company. I wanted her to be in Max’s life because I could see how good they were for each other. I wanted all of it, and the only way I might be able to get that was if I played along with Adrian’s demands. Soon, I’d find out what the hell Luco wanted from me and then I’d decide how much of my soul I was willing to sell.

“Alright, alright,” The driver said. “I’m gonna Central-park myself here for a few minutes. I gotta take a leak. Yous two decide to leave, that’s not my problem, alright? If I’m not back in twenty, I might’ve stopped for a few drinks. You’ve been a great audience!”

I stared at Lola.

She laughed. “That was like ten minutes. Didn’t the website say it was an hour?’

“It did,” I said. “But I can think of a few ways to kill twenty minutes.”

I slid my hand up Lola’s thigh and used my other to cup her cheek, pulling her toward me for a kiss. She was my fucking drug. One taste and all my worries were blasted into the far corners of my mind. One touch and I was content. I could even imagine not giving a shit if I lost the company as long as I knew I’d still have her.

That last thought made me pause.

“What’s wrong?” Lola asked.

I shook my head. “It’s nothing.” I pulled her in, kissing her again. But even her mouth couldn’t fully distract me from the fact that I was even considering letting them win and giving up the company. No. I needed to remember that no matter how good this all felt, it was temporary. No matter what I might want, Lola would eventually figure out I wasn’t who she thought I was. She’d move on with her life and I’d be right back where I was, cold, alone, and with only my company to cling to. If I lost the company and I lost her, I knew there’d be no turning back for me.

I couldn’t help remembering I was in the same town as Luco Bellamo. I intended to wait as long as I could to meet with him, but I knew it was looming. I just hoped I could forget about everything ahead and enjoy the time I had with Lola while we were here first.

36

LOLA

I was a little tipsy, smiling, and loving the way Christian’s arm felt around my shoulder. He worked the key into his apartment door and let us in a little after midnight.

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