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“Wouldn’t be the first time,” I tell him. “If you’re done with your cryptic visit maybe you can show yourself out. I’m going to be late for my plane.”
“I thought you’d appreciate a good woman, but obviously I was wrong.”
“Haven’t ever met one.”
“Hope made mistakes, I know, but man—”
“Mistakes… that’s rich. She took almost two months of my life away. She made me believe I was this fucking asshole with a limp dick who wouldn’t support my family. She made me believe I had fathered a child! That I be—”
I break off because I started to say that she made me feel like I belonged. That’s revealing too damn much and makes me sound more pathetic than I already do.
“Fine, I’m gone. But, if that’s really what you think at least Hope got one thing right,” White snarls turning to go.
“What’s that?” I ask out of morbid curiosity.
“You are a fucking asshole,” he says, and once he delivers his parting shot he leaves. I watch him walk away and sit down on the bed by my suitcase, hold my head down in my hands and wait for the pain in my heart to ease.
fifty-three
hope
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” I tell Ida Sue and I mean it. She’s helped pull me out of my misery and kept me going. It was almost like having my father back. I had forgotten how wonderful my aunt is.
“I’ve been here too long. Jansen’s starting to get lonely. Besides baby, you don’t need me anymore. You know what you have to do.”
“He won’t see me, there’s really no point in it,” I tell her.
I’m still nervous about the whole idea of going to California to see Aden. I found out he wasn’t engaged to anyone. I also found out that woman, who showed up at the courthouse, had put him through hell. Just like me. How can he ever forgive me?
White gave me Aden’s address, and since he and Kayla are going out that way, I have a ride with them. Kayla, even heavily pregnant, has volunteered to watch Jack while I talk to Aden. I hesitated, but White said he’d be with her and I needed to do this.
“You’re forgetting something, Hope.”
“What’s that?”
“That’s Lucas blood in your veins and we’re made of strong stock. We don’t give up.”
“But—”
“We don’t give in, honey.”
“Aunt—”
“And we never back down. You own your mistakes, but you go give that man the honest to God truth. You lay it out for him and if he still wants to keep his head in his ass, you let him. You walk away with your head held high. Then, you go get your son, you come home to this fabulous motel you’ve created, and you create a home for you and your babies.”
“I’m scared…”
“Wouldn’t be human if you weren’t, but you have to try. You owe that to Jack and that little one in your belly.”
“I’ll try,” I whisper, still not fully convinced.
“That’s all any of us can do in life. Now, you bring your babies out to Mason and visit more often, you hear me?”
“I hear you,” I whisper, hugging her close. She squeezes me extra tight and then bends down so that she’s at eye level with Jack.
“You take care of your Momma, little one,” she tells him, ruffling his hair.
“I will,” Jack answers and then he hugs Ida Sue tight. Once they break apart, Jacks goes back to clinging on my leg. He’s been doing that more and more. He’s missing Aden as much as I am, it’s just in response he’s grown extra clingy to me.
“I’ll be checking in. Don’t forget me and Jansen will be bringing Buttermilk out here come Spring,” she says, naming the cow that she says will give the motel character. I tried arguing with her, but the more I thought about it, the more I think she might be right. If she can have a pet cow named Hamburger, then I should keep the family tradition alive with Buttermilk.
I stand there and watch as Ida Sue slides into the cab. She waves and Jack and I both wave back, until she’s completely out of sight.
I really am going to miss her.
fifty-four
hope
I stand there looking at the gates outside of Aden’s home and I panic. This is not the Aden I know. My Aden is the one who held me at night, who told Jack bedtime stories, and who held my hand while laughing in the diner.
My Aden wouldn’t feel at home here.
My heart hurts. This was for nothing. What could I possibly say to Aden to make him forgive me and even if he did… what could I possibly offer him? He’s not in my league—he’s not even in my hemisphere.
I wish I hadn’t let the cab go. I thought if Aden knew I didn’t have a ride he might talk to me. Now, I’m about two steps from walking away and forgetting this whole plan. I only stop when I hear my Aunt’s voice in my head.
