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“Hi, I’m Casey,” I tell her shaking her hand, feeling more and more out of my depth. When Gavin puts his arm around me, it doesn’t really help ward off the thoughts and feelings I’m having.
“Casey went to high school with us Bella,” Gavin says.
“I’m sorry, I’m horrible with names and it’s been so long,” she says helplessly. She’s actually being very nice and sounds sincere. If I could shake off my old insecurities, I could possibly appreciate that fact.
“It’s okay, we didn’t exactly move in the same circles,” I tell her, but Gavin interrupts me before I can continue.
“This is Moth-girl,” he declares proudly as I look up at him in shock. Did he tell Bella about me? Was he being truthful when he said he thought of me a lot over the years?
“Man, I’m telling you, you have got to stop with that nickname,” Aden whines in the background and I can hear Titan talking too, but I have them tuned out. My attention is solely on Gavin and I feel this hope bloom in my chest. He told Bella about me. He told his-girlfriend-at-the-time Bella about me! That’s significant. It has to be.
“This was the girl who gave you that god-awful advice to pursue football?” Bella laughs.
And immediately my hope fades.
It wasn’t me that was significant to Gavin back then—just my advice.
Which really makes sense, but for some reason—that I don’t want to figure out, it makes me sad.
“That’s me,” I laugh, but the laugh feels and sounds hollow. I wonder how no one else notices, but I’m glad when they don’t.
seventeen
gavin
“You okay?” I ask Casey again. It seems like that’s all I’m asking her, but something is wrong. I can feel it. She was quiet throughout dinner, even quieter during the ride home and now that we’re lying in bed she’s paying more attention to the television than she is me. That’s not exactly great for a man’s ego.
“I’m fine,” she says again for the hundredth time.
She’s using that pleasant tone. The one that tells you a woman is anything but fine. This is why I’ve never done relationships—well besides the fact that until Casey, I’ve never wanted to.
Why can’t women straight out tell you what’s going on?
I reach over for the remote, turning the television off. I roll to my side and pull Casey in my arms. She comes willingly, but I can’t help but feel like there’s something between us that wasn’t there earlier.
“What if I was watching that?” she grumbles, laying her head against my chest as I tuck her head under my chin, holding her as close as I physically can.
“We’re not at that stage of our relationship,” I respond.
“What stage is that?”
“The stage where you’d rather watch late night, trash television instead of worshipping my body.”
“You’re such a dweeb,” she says, but she’s laughing.
“Dweeb? The love names you call me Casey are overwhelming. I don’t know if dweeb tops moron, but it’s close.”
“Hey, if the shoe fits,” she answers, but she places a soft kiss against my chest and tightens her hold on me and I have to believe that’s a good sign.
“Tell me what’s on your mind, Moth-girl?” I whisper after we’re quiet for a bit. The room is dark now, but my arms are full of Casey, her body is pressed against mine and it soothes me. I could die a happy man like this.
“What makes you think—”
“Come on, Casey. I might be new to this relationship thing, but I know when something is wrong with a woman.”
I know as soon as I say it, that it was the wrong thing to say because she tenses up briefly before sighing and it’s a sigh that is steeped in sadness.
“Maybe that’s the problem, Gavin.”
“I wasn’t aware we had a problem.”
“We…don’t fit. We never have.”
“I think we fit together perfectly. Do I need to remind you of how well we fit?”
“Not sexually! You, moron.”
“Yeah, I’m thinking that one is my favorite pet name.”
“Whatever. I’m trying to explain that our worlds are too different.”
I roll over on my back, and pull Casey over me. I brace my hands on each side of her face so we are looking at each other. There’s a faint glow of light from the moon shining in the windows, and I see the worry etched on her face. I need it gone.
“I was under the impression that there’s only one world, Casey,” I respond, using my fingers to gently push some of her hair off of her face and I’m unable to resist letting my thumb stroke back and forth along the delicate bone along her cheek to her chin.
“You know what I mean, Gavin,” she says softly.
“Look around this room, Casey. You’re here with me. We’re together. We’re the only two people in my world right now.”
