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The story Luna wrote me. The Chasm of Elsewhere.
I look down the path, remembering the next line.
“You will be with me for eternity.”
Lo adds, “You’d be safer away from your father.”
“But I wouldn’t be happier away from Philly.”
Away from her. Away from your family, Xander’s dad. I think he knows that it’s more than the city rooting me here.
“I can’t quit.” I look up at him. “Sometimes surviving means being selfish, and I’m not sacrificing everything I’ve worked for and everything I love to live on a fucking dude ranch. No matter if I’m here or if I’m gone, my family will keep circling you, and the way I see it, the best shot you have at handling them is through me. ‘Cause no one knows them better than I do.”
Lo blinks hard, not liking this.
“So you can either fire me or you can use me, but I’m not going anywhere unless you force me to.”
After the longest silent minute of my life, Lo produces a tight half-smile. “Great. This is exactly the team-up I’d been hoping for.”
“Stamp,” I say with no enthusiasm.
He lets out a long, cantankerous sigh and then glances down the trail. Maybe he needs to blow off more steam because he starts jogging again.
I follow.
Tension is still thick, and it’s harder to breathe. But he’s not shoving me into a tree and I haven’t been fired.
We run out of the tree-lined path and onto one that borders the Delaware River. Lo slows at a park bench that rests on the sandy shore.
When he takes a seat, I just sit beside him, and the view steals my thoughts for a second. Across the river, in the hazy morning horizon, is Philadelphia in all her beauty.
“I never really appreciated Philly,” Lo admits. “I resented so much about where I came from. I felt guilty for hating my life, when I was given everything I could ever want.” He works his jaw, still staring out at the skyline. “You came from a place where you were given nothing, but you love this city more, and I didn’t get that. Not until last night.” He looks at me. “You want to know the shittiest thing? I’d hoped you were more like me. Vindictive. Bitter. Cruel. Because then I’d understand you more, but you’re just…”
“Sad?” I guess, not even taking this shit to heart. ‘Cause I know I’m not sad.
He shakes his head. “I don’t know what you are…and even if it fucking sucks admitting this to you, I’m trying not to be a hypocrite. So here’s some honesty from me.” He touches his chest. “I don’t want to get to know you. Not really. You grew up with addicts as parents, and I’m not sure I can handle hearing stories about it.”
“Yeah,” I say, not surprised.
He scrunches his face at me. “What’s that?” He motions to my features.
“I’m not surprised,” I say out loud. “It’d probably fuck with your head, but you and Lily aren’t my parents. I don’t think what I went through is anything that your kids will ever have to experience, and I’m just as happy about that as you are.”
Lo stares off at the water lapping against the brown sandy river’s edge. “Were you always this confident in yourself?”
“I dunno. Maybe.” I tilt my head some. “I started believing in myself when I was a teenager because I figured no one was going to help me but me. Then I met Farrow and things got easier.”
He thinks about this, but he doesn’t ask me anything else. He just stands up. “I’m calling my lawyers and Connor when we get back. If you have any saved texts from your cousin, send them to us.”
“I will.”
He doesn’t mention Luna again. Or my family. He’s walking towards the trail loop, and I pick up my pace to catch up with him. Part of me thinks Loren Hale is still trying to keep me on my toes while I’m on thin ice, just so I’ll be painfully honest with him from now on.
Problem is, he still doesn’t know I went down on Luna in the past, and if he found out, it’d definitely make everything worse. So no, I’m not gonna be forthcoming about that.
As we head back, I ask, “If it wasn’t to murder me, why’d you bring me out here?”
He’s quiet for a second, focusing on his breathing, I think. Then he says, “For the view.”
LUNA HALE’S HOROSCOPE
Nov 1st – This is an important day to open your heart, Sagittarius. You might find a sudden spark has already ignited between you and a special someone. Don’t be afraid to stoke the flame.
30
LUNA HALE
“So my dad knows we kissed and that you visited your cousin—and he just drove you back to his house like nothing happened?” I ask Donnelly after he just rehashed today’s turn of events. Night has fallen, and I’m exactly where he found me a half hour ago.
