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He carefully tugs down the collar of my shirt, and my head pops out. Seeing his face, the absolute heartache written across his blue eyes and the determination behind them, to help me—to be here for me—it nearly unravels everything inside my soul.
“Donnelly,” I croak. “It feels like I’m…” Like I’m dying. Like I wish I could die, and I hate this feeling. I hate it so much, but it’s a tidal wave crashing over me. Drowning me into a puddle of nothing, and I don’t want to be nothing. I try to catch staggered breath. I try to hold on to his forearms while he’s cupping my wet, splotchy cheeks and keeping me together. I try to speak. “I don’t want them…to make me feel like this.” I hiccup. “Like I…shouldn’t exist.”
He cradles my gaze. “Don’t let them in.”
“I think it’s too late.” My voice cracks again. “I wish I had the superpower to disappear.”
His chest collapses. “Well then, I wish I had the same power. So I could disappear with you.”
I shake my head. “No.”
“We’d be invisible together. On some invisible planet.”
I cry more, but they’re different kinds of tears as my heart floods.
“And we’d make invisible art together that only invisible people can see.” He searches my gaze like he’s trying to excavate the strength inside of me, to bring the crumbled pieces to the surface. Like he’s trying to help lift me to my feet. “And our invisible love would be stuff of invisible ages.”
“Documented in invisible history books,” I say quietly, shakily.
He nods. “In an invisible library.”
On our invisible planet. Safe from everyone, everything. I can’t control the tears that cascade in hot waves, but I’m trying to breathe without hiccupping. “I’ve erased us?”
“Nah, we’re just disappearing together, and when you’re ready to become visible again, I’ll be there with you, too.”
I bury my forehead into his chest.
He holds on to me.
I pretend I’ve disappeared with Donnelly. We’re gone. Lost in the ether of time and space, and his love for me and my love for him is carrying us through our unraveling universe. Flying past the debris.
We’re flying.
I pretend we’re flying.
And then I think about what I’ve left behind.
My family.
What will this do to them? Their businesses? I’ve written some raunchy stories about space bounty hunters and otherworldly species that won’t be good for Halway Comics, Hale Co., Superheroes & Scones…not to mention I’m the niece to Connor and Rose. How is this going to affect Calloway Couture and Cobalt Inc.?
What about Aunt Daisy?
Camp Calloway.
I’ve only been thinking of my life, but…this could destroy so many other people, too. Legacies imploding…because of me.
Tears suddenly burst.
“Luna?” He cups the back of my head.
“I don’t want to be here,” I sob. “I don’t want to do this anymore, Donnelly.”
“We’re gone. We’re not here, Sad Alien,” he reminds me strongly, but I hear the strain in his voice as emotion surges. “And I know it feels like they’re cutting you inside-out—but those assholes are somewhere inside a computer. They’re more invisible than we are, you know that? They’re the ones who don’t exist. Not in our universe.”
“Our universe feels cursed,” I choke out.
“What happened to hoping?” Donnelly questions softly. “What happened to believing?” He tilts his head, capturing my eyes that try to fall. “Believe with me. Believe they’re exiled from your planet. Believe that they can’t touch the most important parts of you, Luna.”
“What if…I just give you my heart and soul for safe-keeping?” I ask tearfully.
“We’ve made a swap then. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure you already have mine.”
I shut my eyes, letting that sentiment wash through me. Tears keep leaking.
They’re exiled, I want to pretend.
I hear his words.
But cracks inside of me are letting fear and panic seep through, and I just want to sleep. I just want to go to bed now. I want to never open my eyes again.
I don’t have the energy to speak. I just pull my shirt back up over my head and let the darkness consume me again.
Donnelly touches the top of my head. I listen to the thump, thump, thump of his heartbeat for a long while. It helps. He doesn’t say anything else. He just stays with me, but when I start thinking of all the companies I could be tarnishing, I cry harder.
I feel him leave the bed.
Time slips away. One second feels like a minute. My breathing cuts short, sporadic, and then I hear my brother.
“Luna?”
I peer out of my T-shirt to see Maximoff on the edge of the bed. His toughened, empathetic eyes have a way of speaking a million things at once.
You’re okay.
And I’m going to fix this.
And I’ve been where you are. You’re not alone. You’re never alone.
I crawl over to my brother, and instantly, he’s hugging me. “It’s going to be okay,” he breathes strongly, and just like with Donnelly, I want to believe in my brother’s words, too.
