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He sat perfectly straight, I noticed, not with any kind of relaxed slouch like me. “Will you need to be spanked?”
I chuckled, then shifted in the chair. “I’m willin’ to try anything once. I’m pretty sure I’ll be ornery, so if that’s your thing, then I’ll likely give you reason to do it to me.”
That time, he did smile, and it felt like I’d won the lottery. “I’m everyday kinky, not hardcore. I like to pleasure my partner and hope they feel the same about me. I do what feels good at that moment and in that situation, but no, I don’t want to be called Daddy, and I’ve never spanked a man. I’m vers, you?”
“Same.”
“STI status?”
“I’m negative. I was last tested a little over a month ago. I do that over in Charlotte so no one knows. Twice a year like clockwork. Haven’t been with anyone in about eight weeks. I’ll go get tested again if it makes you feel better.”
“I’m negative as well, but I’ll get tested too. It’s been longer than that for me.”
But he didn’t want to tell me how long. I wondered why.
Emerson said, “I’d like you to commit to being exclusive while we have this arrangement in place. I will too. You’re free to jack off on your channel, but no other man.”
“Agreed,” I said easily. It wasn’t like I had that much sex anyway, and if I got to have it weekly with him, I wouldn’t need anyone else.
“Condoms?” Emerson asked.
“I never done it without them, but if we’re tested and exclusive, it’d be kinda hot to try. If you don’t feel comfortable, I understand.”
“We can play it by ear, see how it goes down.”
That worked for me. I was ready to start getting to the experimenting. “I can’t spend this weekend here, but if you wanna take me for a test drive tonight, I’d be willing.”
His gaze flared with what I hoped was want before he stamped it down. “No, not yet. We’ll get tested, you finish up your current weekend commitment, and then we’ll move forward as long as you’re agreeable to my terms.” He took a drink, then gave me a number that almost made me swallow my tongue. “I’ll give it to you every Sunday when you leave.”
“Holy shit. Every weekend? No offense, but now I’m convinced it’s you who’s shit at bein’ a businessman. You remember I said I’d have sex with you for free, right?” I was sure that to a lot of people, it might not be much money, but to me, it was. I could help Mama get out of debt, could afford one of those fancy rehab places if I could get her to go.
I was surprised when Emerson stood and walked over, not stopping until he was in front of me. He cradled my face, brushed his thumb over my lower lip, making me damn near bounce out of the chair with need. “You’re a beautiful, kind, smart man. Know your worth, and don’t take less than you deserve.” He dropped his arm. “It doesn’t escape my attention that I’m asking you to do that by being with me this way. But I’m selfish and I want you.”
My damn heart punched at my chest like horse hooves beating the ground. Still, I slid the chair back and pushed to my feet, letting myself be all up in his space. I couldn’t quite understand how he thought he was asking me to take less than I deserved by getting to sleep in this house and having free access to his body. It was clear Emerson hated himself for something. It was just another thing that didn’t make sense to me, how he could feel that way, but then, I figured most people didn’t need a reason to hate themselves. We were good at doing it for nothing at all.
“Don’t it make me a bit selfish to take money from you for doin’ what I want to do anyway? You seem to think you’re takin’ advantage of me, but it’s what I’m doin’ to you too. I want you, and I’m gonna be greedy and take whatever it is you’re offering.”
My hands trembled, which was embarrassing as shit. I wanted to be braver in this situation, didn’t want to come off as the small-town, inexperienced, younger man I was when I leaned in and pressed my mouth to Emerson’s. I half expected him to pull away, for him to say he changed his mind and didn’t want to do this with someone like me. Instead, he opened for me when I teased the seam of his mouth, let me sneak my tongue inside and taste him.
I got lost in him immediately. While I’d had quite a bit of sex and kissed my fair share of men, none of them had been guys I knew. They’d been random faces from a screen or willing bodies in a club. While Emerson and I were strangers in a lot of ways, this felt different. I realized then that those other times had almost felt like I was another Sam experiencing them, but this one, kissing a man at a farmhouse in Ryland, was the real me, so it was like my first time.
