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“I don’t want you to end up alone like me.”
“I’m not alone.” But I was. At least in the way she meant. She was afraid Molly would get tired of waiting and leave me, but she wasn’t mine anyway. “It’s hot as hell outside today. You been out yet? You should call Aunt Sherry, and maybe the two of you can go shopping or something.”
“If I do, she’s just going to tell me how disappointed in me she is. And I can’t blame her.”
I fought back a groan, rubbed a sweaty, dirty hand over my face. “She loves you.”
“I know.”
“Go outside, okay? It’s good for you. I’ll text Aunt Sherry and have her call you. When I check on you later, I wanna hear you did something today.” It didn’t help that she didn’t work. A couple of years back she’d gotten hurt on the job and started collecting disability.
Mama agreed, and we said our goodbyes. I knew she wouldn’t do what I said, knew that if Aunt Sherry called, she’d make an excuse not to go. Still, I sent the text. When I set the phone down, I didn’t look at Emerson, but I could still feel the hot intensity of his stare.
“Do you need to go home? You can if you want. Come back later, if it works, and if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. I’ll still pay you.”
I shook my head. “First, I wouldn’t take it. If I’m not fulfilling my part of the arrangement, I don’t want your money. And second, I don’t wanna go home. Makes me feel like an asshole, but what I really wanna do is pretend that conversation didn’t happen. Find a way to spend the day not worrying about her, and just…bein’ me.”
He nodded, seemed to hesitate, then said, “You know you’re probably lying on goat shit, right?”
“Yeah, well, us country boys don’t care about that.”
He grinned. “We can eat some lunch, then go for a ride on the horses. To help you forget about the other stuff, I mean.”
Well, shit. I hadn’t expected him to offer that. It was on the tip of my tongue to tease him about being friends, or us going on a date or something stupid like that, but it would make him shut down faster than I could get the words out. So I just said, “We can do that,” like it wasn’t a big deal and my pulse didn’t suddenly speed up.
Part of me knew he just felt bad for me, that Emerson cared more than he wanted to let on. Not about me specifically, but people in general, and he saw me as this poor, closeted guy, tied to this small town, with an alcoholic mom and no future. I hated that, but I didn’t have it in me to turn him away either.
So when he held his hand out for me, I took it and let him help pull me to my feet. I turned and gave him my back. “I got goat shit on me?”
“I think you have something right here.” He brushed off my ass.
“You just wanted to touch my butt.”
“It’s a little flat for me.”
“Are you kiddin’ me? I have a great ass. And you weren’t complaining when you wanted your dick in it. I’m still a little sore cuz it’s been a while for me. I don’t think the horse ride will help, but ask me if I care.”
He cocked a brow. “Do you care?”
“Hell no. I like the reminder of fucking. That’s when I let go of all the other stuff in my life. I’m gonna need your dick in my ass at least one more time before this weekend is over.”
He shook his head as we made our way toward the house. “I think that can be arranged.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Emerson
There was plenty of room on my property for riding, but the rear of my land also backed up to a wooded area. We had a quick lunch of sandwiches, chips, and watermelon before saddling up and being on our way. We didn’t talk much, just rode at a slow pace, baking in the warm weather, but I enjoyed simply being outside.
The quiet worked for me. Normally, Sam would have been jumping out of his skin, but he’d been a little subdued since talking with his mom. “Loving people…having people love you, sometimes that’s a lot of pressure,” I said. “Whether it’s to be who they want you to be or who they think you are. Trying to be happy but also wanting to make them happy. Taking care of people or whatever the situation is.” I’d spent my childhood trying to hide or deny who I was because I knew my parents could never accept it. In some ways, I tried to be who Daniel had needed me to be too; I just failed a lot at it. And him loving me was what made him stick around, hoping I’d finally want the same kind of life as him.
