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He wiped her nose off with a napkin, and when he turned slightly to throw it away, our eyes caught. His gaze held on to mine, refusing to let go. He gave me a small smile, which I couldn’t help returning. Molly turned to look at me too, and I could feel her conflicted stare, her protective instinct for Sam. She didn’t trust me with him, and she shouldn’t. I didn’t trust me either.
“Can I help you with something?” a gentleman asked. “Every cutting board is handcrafted by me and my son.”
I cleared my throat and forced myself to turn away from Sam. “They’re beautiful. I’ll take that one.” I pointed to one, which he plucked from the table, wrapped it up, and charged me for it.
When I turned back around, Sam was gone.
I’d been home close to two hours when Sam came back. “Sorry it took so long. Me and Molly got stopped by pretty much everyone in town. Then my aunt Sherry needed me to watch her booth for a little while. She makes these real pretty chimes. I don’t know if you saw them, but—”
I shut Sam up with my mouth. We kissed and stripped out of our clothes, right there in the living room. He pushed me down to the couch, the lube still there from the day before. We rutted together, hard body against hard body, until we lost our battle with our orgasms, coming all over me.
Sam’s hair was sweaty, and he looked down at me with a dopey smile, those lips of his a perfect bow and so kissable. “Well, that was quite the surprise.”
“But we always have orgasms together when you first get here.”
“Yeah, but you don’t usually kiss me first. And now I need a nap, so if you wanna go gettin’ all distant on me, you better get up. Otherwise I’m gonna sleep right here on top of you.”
I didn’t move.
We fell asleep together, then cooked dinner together. Sam made me get in the hot tub again, but we didn’t do anything sexual.
We went to our separate rooms after, and like always, I couldn’t sleep.
When he left the next day, I hated myself when I gave him money.
And I wanted to ask him to stay.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Sam
“You’re falling for him,” was the first thing Molly said when I got to her place Sunday.
“How did I know you were gonna say that?”
“Because it’s true? And because I gave you the evil eye yesterday. And because it’s true. Also, you know me, and did I mention it’s true?”
“Ah, hell.” I collapsed on her couch. She was right, and it was the stupidest thing I could have done. Maybe that was why I’d been so pissed about the sex on Friday. I played it off well, even to myself, harping on about how I knew my dick from my heart, but the truth was, I’d fallen into…something with Emerson. I just didn’t know exactly what it was. “It’s a silly crush. I didn’t have one as a teenager, at least not in the same way as straight people, where the crush was returned and we flirted or I could tell anyone. So I’m makin’ up for it now.”
“Sammy…I’m worried.” She sat beside me on the couch.
“I know. And nothin’ I say will change your mind, but I’ll be all right. I always am. It’s not like I love the guy. I just…”
“Want more than sex Friday through Sunday that he pays you for?”
Leave it to Molly to put it all out there like that. “Basically, yeah.” I had to admit, I’d felt different taking the cash this time. I didn’t want it. I just wanted to spend time with Emerson, but if I’d turned it down, the whole thing would have ended right there because he would have known. It would have told him I’d done what I’d said I wouldn’t do. Want more.
“You don’t have to pretend that didn’t hurt. Not with me.”
No, I didn’t have to fake anything with Molly. I lay down with my head in her lap. Molly immediately started running her fingers through my hair. The thing was, even though I understood that Emerson wouldn’t ever offer me more, I’d keep going. I’d keep taking whatever he could give because it was more than I ever thought I’d have anyway. And even if he changed his mind, if he was willing to try for more, there was still the issue of being with someone here in Ryland. Coming out, and all it would entail. “One month. I’m such a fucking idiot.”
“It’s not a normal month, though. You spend how many hours a day with him, for three days every week. And come on, we both know you’re not the casual-sex type. Not really. Yeah, maybe with the guys you meet in Charlotte, but that’s not the same thing. You’re going there just to screw someone, and then you’re on your way. You don’t get to know them, and you don’t see them more than once. Of course spending quality time with Emerson would change things.”
