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“That must have been rough,” Mike said, resting his cheek on her head. “I hope Hazel appreciates how hard that had to be.”
“I don’t want her looking at it that way. Like it’s some big sacrifice for me to be near her father.” She tugged at the light blanket that had fallen to their waists. The night air was getting cool. “Chris and I made a vow not to badmouth each other to her, but I wasn’t always kind about Genna. Not until I learned they were expecting a child and getting married.”
“Why did that change things?” Mike asked. “I mean, I know it’s a big change for Hazel, but Genna is still the woman who broke up your marriage.”
Good old logical Mike. If only logic worked on thirteen-year-olds.
“Genna is also the woman who’s going to give Hazel a baby brother. It would be horrible for me to put some wedge between them out of my own personal spite.” She heard the critical edge in her voice, and so did he.
“I’m not suggesting you do anything out of spite. I just think you should—”
“Hazel needs to know that she can rely on the adults in her lifebehavinglike adults. If you had children, you’d...” Her voice trailed off when she saw those words land hard on him.
“I’d...what?” His voice was brittle. “I’d automatically be gifted with the ability to make all the right decisions?”
She shook her head sharply. “I’ve told you before, no parent has all the answers. We’reneverready for the feeling of watching our own heart walking around outside of our body in the form of this little person who starts developing her own opinions and attitudes and takes risks and gives us a new reason to have nightmares every damn day about what might go wrong.” She paused. “And I’vealreadyscrewed up. Chris has screwed up. Genna has screwed up. It’s our job to make it all okay for Hazel.”
“And you don’t think I can help with that? Do you think I’d be some bad influence in her life?” The hurt in his voice tugged at her.
“God, no. She’d be lucky to have you. But shehasa father. And a mother. And a stepmom. And a brother on the way. Adding one more layer to her life right now would be overwhelming, and it would bemyscrewup to fix if it doesn’t go well.” She leaned forward and kissed him softly. “Let me figure out how to introduce the idea of her mom dating. I told you what happened when her best friend’s mom tried it. Hazel literally told me to be nunlike.” She kissed him again. “Let me figure out how to do this.”
He stared into her eyes before returning the kiss, his arms sliding around her waist. “Do what? Be virginal? I’ve got bad news for you—it’s too late.” He held her tight and turned her so that she was beneath him, his legs straddling hers. “We’ll figure it out together.”
They made love, both knowing they were distracting themselves from the heavy conversation without resolving anything. But as long as they were moving in perfect rhythm with each other, sweat running together wherever their bodies met, with physical need overwhelming logic—well, all seemed right with the world.
Their problems could wait.
“UH-OH, FINN,” BRIDGETSAID,leaning over to look up into Mike’s eyes. “Lover boy is looking blue today.”
Finn was behind the bar at the Shamrock with Mike. It was Friday night, and it looked to be a busy one. They had a DJ coming in later, and the dancing crowd was already coming in to grab their tables. And their drinks.
Mike tried to shrug away the unwanted attention, but Bridget’s husband took one look at Mike and gave an exaggerated frown. “Is he looking blue or is he just not getting enough sleep? I remember our early days, love, and we were very energetic back then.”
Mike scowled. There were times when being part of a big, nosy Irish family was a pain in the ass.
Bridget snapped a bar towel at her husband. “You make it sound like it was fifty years ago. It’s not like we’ve stopped beingenergetic. Maybe not quite as often, but with the baby—”
Finn grabbed her and planted a long, fervent kiss on her mouth. “T’wasn’t lookin’ to sound sulky, babe. Our love life is perfect as it is. I’m just saying in those first few months, we wereverybusy with each other.”
“I can’t argue that,” she chuckled, cupping his face with her hands and kissing him back. “I gotta get back to the kitchen.” She gestured at Mike. “Fix him, okay? He’s bringing down the vibe in here tonight.”
Finn turned to Mike, but he shook his head. “Don’t, okay? I’m fine. I’ve got a lot on my mind, but I’ll put on my smile for the customers.” To prove it, he turned to greet a couple of young women and take their order, giving them his best smile and exchanging easy banter as he prepared their drinks. He’d been bartending here on and off since he was in college. He understood the assignment.
“Good work,” Finn said. “But I’d still like to know what’s on your mind.” Finn’s gaze went to the other side of the bar. “Oh, hey Logan, Father Joe.”
Mike breathed a quiet prayer of thanks for the distraction. His agitation was pulsing right under his skin today, and he didn’t think talking it out was going to make it any better.
Finn had already begun to pour two Guinnesses for Logan Taggart and Father Joseph Gough, pastor of St. Vincent’s Church in Rendezvous Falls. The priest knew almost everyone in town and loved sharing his wisdom with anyone who’d listen. And the town adored the man who, like Finn, was from Ireland. Joe’s brogue was a bit softer than Finn’s, as he’d been in the US much longer.
“It’s a fine evening, lads.” Joe nodded in thanks as Finn slid his beer toward him. He lifted the glass in a toast. “May the good Lord bless you, and may you all be in Heaven half an hour before the devil knows yer dead.”
Mike lifted the splash of whiskey he’d poured in a shot glass for himself. He didn’t normally drink while working, but he needed something warm to soothe his restlessness. He’d agreed to be patient with Zoey, but the waiting was grinding on his nerves. He’d tried to discuss it with her. Tried to convince her the secret would continue to become heavier—worse than the truth. But no matter what he said, he was wrong because he wasn’t a parent.
Zoey never said exactly that, of course. But she didn’t want her two worlds colliding, and the strain was wearing on them both.
“That is one very long face for a Friday night, Michael.” Father Joe looked over the rim of his beer glass. “Why so glum?”
“Oi, he’s gotloveproblems, Father,” Finn said. He immediately stopped, mouth open and eyes wide. “And I’m a complete eedgit for saying that. Blame the lack of sleep that comes with fatherhood. Sorry, Mike.”
