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I squeezed his hand. “But I love you too.” The memory of his body flying off the horse in the video flashed in my mind. What had he been thinking in that moment? People broke their spines in horse riding accidents every day. People died.
I swallowed back a choked breath. “You know that, right? You know I love you?”
“Of course I know,” came Leander’s scratchy voice as his eyes cracked open just the slightest bit. “Now what the fuck does it take to get some water around here?”
PART 2
EIGHTEEN
LEANDER
My leg. It was bad.
Really fuckin’ bad.
They’d had to install a rod in my tibia and screws in my ankle. At least that was what I thought I’d heard the doctor say. I was kind of in and out of it from the painkillers.
In my brief windows of consciousness that first day, Hope was there every time I opened my eyes. She was beautiful. So beautiful it hurt. Okay, so maybe that was my goddamned leg.
But when she’d looked down at where I was laid out, her hands curving around her tummy like they did now unconsciously whenever she was worried… Protecting our kid. My damn kid, tiny as a grape or however the fuck big the fetus was now.
My eyes—the only part of my body that didn’t hurt, it seemed like—moved to Janus who was pacing back and forth behind her.
Back and forth, back and forth. He was my mirror image, hovering like a ghost by my bedside. It was funny, I’d grown up so used to seeing him that it was looking in the mirror that made me jump sometimes. Like he’d snuck up on me when I thought I was alone. And yet that was the one thing neither of us had ever managed to be, was it? To be alone without the other.
Well, maybe it was time for that to change.
I struggled to hold my eyes open as the sun set. The hospital administrator had moved me to a room on the top floor. Drawn shades covered the window, but natural light still spilled through. Milo sat on a chair in the corner, thumbs moving on his phone screen. He’d been on the phone almost nonstop today.
The studio wanted answers about their latest cash cow that was currently frozen in production.
After sitting vigil at my bedside all afternoon long, Hope finally left the room for a bathroom break. I quickly snapped my brother’s name. “Janus.”
He’d been quiet all day, barely talking to me. That was fine—talking wasn’t necessary. We were too close. I knew his mind, as much as he might hate the fact. But I was also counting on it.
“Tell Milo to call the studio back. Tell them you’ll take the role in my place.”
Janus’s eyes went wide. “What the fuck are you talking about? They’re already quietly making inquiries for someone else to fill in.”
“Some people are calling the movie cursed,” Milo muttered. He’d come up behind him, still looking down at his phone. “Two actors dropping out of the same lead role, one after the other.”
“So don’t,” I said, gritting my teeth against the pulsing pain in my leg. I wasn’t gonna take any more pain meds until I cleared this up, but I couldn’t hold out much longer. I’d just been waiting for Hope to leave so I could have this conversation. “No one has to know how bad this accident really was. Janus, you’ve been prepping for this. So step up.”
Janus froze, gray eyes locked with mine. Milo had also paused.
“I can’t.” Janus shook his head.
I reached out and snatched his wrist, even though the motion made me wince. “You can. And you will. We need this.”
His eyes widened. I could tell the idea was sinking in. In fact, I could tell it wasn’t an entirely new concept.
He’d been considering it as a solution too. As much as we were different, we were also too alike. We had similar interests. Similar tastes in hobbies. Similar tastes in women… It was part of what made it so insufferable to live with one another.
“I don’t have the time or energy to debate,” I barked. “Just say yes like you know you want to.”
Janus pulled his arm away from my grasp. Still staring straight at me. Doing the thing where we silently communicated. What are you doing?
What needs to be done. You know it does.
More silent staring.
Fine.
But then Janus leaned down, surprising me. “What the fuck happened out there? You were riding fine, then I come around the bend and—”
He stared at me, obviously waiting for me to fill in the blank.
“And then I fell,” I said, glaring him down.
“You fell,” he repeated. A beat of silence. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“Did the horse get spooked? Rear up or something?”
Milo piped up from behind him. “I saw the video. It didn’t look like the horse reared up.”
