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She swallowed and applied such suction that— Oh fuck— Oh fucking fuck, holy—
I wrenched up off the bed again. Pain shot like goddamned lightning through my leg.
My hips jutted up and I came like a freight train down the throat of the most beautiful fucking woman on the entire fucking planet.
And prayed like fuck that she’d give me a third chance. Because I wouldn’t let her down this time—
NINETEEN
JANUS
The table-read today went great. Exhilarating, even.
And I didn’t know how the fuck to feel about that.
My brother was back home in bed with his leg all but in fucking traction. Hope and Milo were there with him. And I’d been here all day. With a famous director and co-stars.
Living a dream.
And lying to everyone. Like always.
Leander convinced Hope to go along with it. I’m not sure how he did that. I thought she’d be reluctant. It was one of the reasons I hadn’t wanted to bring up what I thought was a pretty obvious solution to everyone’s problems since Leander had become sidelined. Well, that and I thought it was self-aggrandizing and maybe ludicrous to suggest myself for the job. Especially right after my brother just had a fucking terrifying injury—I mean, only a mercenary asshole would think about work at a time like that…
… So what did that make me?
But then Hope came out of the hospital room a couple nights ago, and she had a little smile on her face. She agreed to everything we said. And I realized she was glad that there was a solution that took the stress off of Leander. Which made me glad. Of course he should be our focus.
When I woke up yesterday morning, Hope had done her work. The headlines were already being blasted—initial reports that Leander Mavros were hurt on set had been mistaken. It was actually his twin brother Janus who’d been gravely injured.
Hope sounded so convincing as she sold the story we artfully crafted for the media. Leander was just fine and on track to begin filming. There was simply confusion while Leander took time off to be with his brother right after the accident.
So today I’d shown up for the table-read. Photos were taken and posted all over socials to prove that “Leander” was hale, healthy, and at work.
And for once, I wasn’t just posing for the photos and then getting up to exchange places while Leander did the real work.
I’d pretended to be my brother a lot in the last decade, but this took it to a whole new level. It mingled the lines between reality and fiction in a way I couldn’t quite wrap my head around. Because when I read the script for the table-read, I wasn’t playing Leander playing the character.
It was just me. Janus. Just me and my skill or lack of it.
And no one batted an eye. No one on the cast or crew had known Leander beforehand. So I could be myself and just… lose myself in the process. Lose myself in what I’d grown up loving to do.
I’d felt lighter than air as a driver brought me home. I jogged up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. I wanted to go in, wrap my arms around my woman, and hoist her in the air. Then drag her to bed.
But when I finally put my key in the lock, and pushed inside, the apartment was dim. I was about to call out to see if anyone was home, but then I heard distant voices. Likely from the back bedroom where Leander was. It sounded like both Milo and Hope were back there with him.
When I’d left early this morning, Milo had been helping Hope drag a couple big chairs from the living room in there to set up a makeshift office. So Leander wouldn’t have to be alone.
Guilt cut through my stomach.
I wanted to go join them all. I even walked down the hallway. But I paused just outside the door. I wanted to go in and tell Hope about my day. I wanted to tell her about how bizarre it had all felt. But also how natural. How I didn’t know what the right thing to do was anymore.
I’d been so sure of every move I was making just a week ago.
My path had been so clear. I was building the family I’d always wanted. Craved, even.
I swallowed uncomfortably, my hand on the doorknob to enter Leander’s room. Hope’s bell-like laughter rang out.
Leander was making her laugh. Last week things had been so tense between them they could only hate fuck and now she was laughing at his jokes?
Just because the motherfucker happened to tumble off a horse and break some bones?
I was the one she’d said yes to marrying. And while chances might be slim, it was still possible it was my kid she was carrying in there. She loved me and I loved her. Everything was going my way.
