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All forward motion ceases as a weird pressure builds in my chest, stopping my heart and making my lungs constrict as I sputter.
“Dude,” I barely choke out. “You’ve got the wrong idea, man. This is what I was trying to tell you. It’s not like that. We’re friends.Justfriends. I guess I mean notjustjust friends but mostly just friends who have this thing that we’re doing, but in a friendly kind of way.” Enough that I’d want way better than me for her. “Dammit, man, why are you laughing? I’m standing still. You can just hit me. Just don’t fuck up your shoulder any worse.”
And then Greg is doubled over a few feet in front of me, he looks back over his shoulder, honest-to-fuck tears streaming down his face.
“You fuckingfucker. You knew already!” He’s lucky I don’t layhimout.
Straightening to his full height, he shakes his head at the sky. “Of course, I fucking knew.”
Oh. “Cammy called Julia?”
Jesus, it’s barely seven. The sun’s not even up.
“Uhh, yeah, I’m guessing she was on the phone before you even left her place.”
Now that I think about it, she did have her phone in her hand when I was leaving.
“FYI, you owe me a full night of sleep. She called Julia and then Julia called me at four a.m. with all the squeals and breathless gossip until I was wide awake. And where the hell is my cookie? I lost five bucks to Julia thinking you’d show up with half a bakery trying to woo me back into lovin’ you.”
Knew I should have brought a cookie.
“Five bucks? Cheap fucker.”
“Dude, you know what it’s like betting against her. I had to bring the dollars down.”
And like that, the tension in my chest unravels, letting me draw a couple lungs’ worth of the brisk lake air. “Seriously, you’re not pissed?”
“Nah, man. If it were Diesel or Bowie trying to get under Cammy’s skirt, then yeah, I’d probably have something to say about it. But you guys are friends, and so long as you’re on the same page, Cammy could use some fun.”
Right. “If there’s one thing I’m good for—besides backing your ass up on the ice, that is—it’s fun. Hell, I wouldn’t have been opposed to Cammy using me for some more of it, but she was probably right about it being a good idea we stopped when we did.”
“Can’t believe you weren’t packin’. What the hell, man?”
I shrug, not interested in explaining all the reasons random hookups have lost their appeal this year.
When he sees I’m not going to answer, he shakes his head. “So that’s it with Cammy, huh? Not-quite-one-and-done? You two back tojustfriends.”
“Yep.” I don’t hesitate. Cammy made it pretty clear where she stood last night and I get it. I mean, yeah, I’ve pretty much got the sounds of her coming apart for me on permanent replay in my mind and I’ve basically given up on talking my dick down each time I think about her. But chalk that up to me being a guy. It will pass. Eventually. Probably. And even if it doesn’t, who cares. We’ll still be friends, because I wouldn’t let anything get in the way of that.
* * *
Rux
Thankfuck I can sleep on the plane. After leaving Cammy’s place, I was up half the night with my head swimming in the sounds of her soft moans, my dick ready to drill through my mattress. That coupled with the guilt made for some serious tossing and turning.
Talking to Greg helped. And then practice helped some more.
But I need to catch some Zs. Dropping into a row to myself, I turn on my Beats and shut out the rest of the world. Kind of wish I’d been able to see Cammy, but she had to pick up Matty and… timing.
It’s not a big deal. That’s what I’m telling myself, even though there’s this tug in my gut that feels like it is. With what happened between us last night, I want to see her. Hug her. Hear her voice and know,really knowthat I didn’t jeopardize something that’s as critical to me as breathing.
Maybe I’ll just check in. Casual. Fun.
Me: Can’t believe you told Julia.
I wait for her to come back, watching for those three little dots.
The phone rings instead and a pressure I hadn’t even realized was building releases in my chest.
