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My cheeks flame thinking about the dirty promises Rux had been making that night. What might have been going on if Matty had shown up ten minutes later.
“Hey, come on, don’t hide.”
Slowly, I lift my head from where it’s buried against his chest. “Nothing like that has ever happened with him. I’ve never brought a man back here. I’ve never let him down.”
He catches my chin. “You didn’t let him down. You dropped everything the second you knew he needed you. And even if Matty had to wait, it wasn’t long, and he was with hisfather.”
I nod, but that guilt is still chewing at me. And not just that.
I pinch my lips together.
I need to know where we stand. If maybe it’s on the same page… Only, I’ve spent too much time imagining Rux’s reaction if I ask him flat-out and his feelings haven’t changed.
“I got worried about what he might think, seeing us that way. I mean, I know this isn’t forever. That we’re… just having some fun and all.” It's a copout, but I can’t risk damaging our friendship. So I pause, waiting to see if maybe he’ll disagree. If he’ll show me that wildly passionate side and flip me over so he’s on top, press kisses against my mouth around telling me how he’s decided he’ll never give me up.
But instead of telling me this is the thing he never expected either, the happily ever after he didn’t think he wanted but now can’t live without, he takes my hand in his and pulls it up to his mouth for a quick kiss. “The best kind of fun, Sunshine. But I get it, and we’ll be careful around Matty. I don’t want him to be disappointed or confused when we put thejustback in our friendship either.”
That place I never expected Ruxton Meyers to touch starts to crumble. He doesn’t want more. He doesn’t want less either, which is the only reason I hold it together.
Ducking my head, I breathe through the raw pain in my chest.
I thought I’d braced for it. I thought I’d talked myself out of hoping. But apparently, not so much.
This isn’t the start of our forever after all.
It’s okay. It’s good I know. Yes, it hurts. But I’ve had to accept worse.
And I’ll accept this.
I knew what Rux’s limits were going in, and no matter how good this feels, they haven’t changed. I can live with that, and even when this thing between us has run its course—our friendship will still be enough. More.
“Hey, Cammy.” The eyes that meet mine are completely devoid of the humor and joking that always live within. “I will never let that little boy down. I’d crawl over hot coals for him. You know I’ll always be there for the both of you, right?”
I nod, my eyes filling with tears. “I do. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”
“Funny, it’s one of the reasons I love you too.”
Chapter 19
Rux
Ihang with Cammy as long as I can, using the living room to catch up on some calls while she works in her office. I feel about a million times better now that I’ve gotten to hold her and talk to her, find out where her head was at with everything after the other night. Yeah, there was that minute when I thought she might be trying to feel me out about taking things to a more serious level. But I’m chalking it up to not enough sleep on my end. Because then she’d seemed fine, and seriously, Cammy knows better than to get any ideas about me.
And I sure as hell know better than to let myself get ideas about her.
Matty blows in like a whirlwind after school, all hugs and math sheets and news about the play coming up. Which I’m fucking bummed falls on a game night, so there’s no chance I can make it. Matty understands, but it still sucks.
There’s a late practice, so I haul out with another round of hugs and Cammy giving me that sunshine smile that makes me wish I didn’t have to go, but I’m already pushing it enough that by the time I make it to the rink, I’ve got to run from the parking lot to make practice on time.
“Yo, Rux,” Assistant Coach Mateo calls out, waving me over. “GM wants to see you in his office.”
I stop in my tracks, mentally rolling back through the last few days for anything obvious that would have me called in to the principal’s office. I did walk through the hotel lobby on my hands—but I’mgoodat it. I stayed away from all the guests. I had all my clothes on. Wait, did I? Yeah, I did.
Shit, shit, shit.
If I didn’t do anything seriously stupid, then there’s only one reason I can think for why I’d be getting called up there.
A trade.
