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“Feelings and shit?”
“Uh huh. Camden and I discussed what was bothering him and it helped. I finally got the balls to tell you how I feel and now you can’t stop kissing me.”
And then I run around the table, circling it with her gaining on me. As Riley walks downstairs, I head toward her and use her as a shield. “You’re hiding behind your sister, big man? Seriously?” Ember asks.
“Yep,” I don’t even bother sugarcoating it.
And then I hear a sound I haven’t since the night we found out our parents were gone. Riley’s laughter.
“I’ll protect you, Adam,” Riley informs me through her giggles.
“Riley!” Ember exclaims. “I thought we were gonna stick together against these guys. Girl power and all that.”
“Well, we’re going shopping, and he holds the money, so…” Riley trails off with a shrug. And I can’t help it. I quietly move, grabbing Riley’s hand and tickling her palm, knowing it never fails. “Stop. Stop,” she pleads with a grin.
“I’m just a dollar sign to you, huh?” I tease.
“A big one if that helps. You’re huge,” she quips. “Ember, help,” she begs.
“Oh, now you remember me? You threw me under the bus a second ago.”
“My bad?” Riley tries to win Ember back.
“Hmm…” Ember pretends to think about it before quickly closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around me, trapping them against my legs. “Run, Riley, run.”
Riley takes off, and I use that moment to steal a kiss from Ember. “Thank you,” I tell her, the words coming straight from my heart. “At times, it doesn’t feel like anything has changed, and then others, it hits us that they’re really gone. It’s like a roller coaster that can’t be stopped, if that makes sense.”
“You’re welcome, and it does. Your emotions are up and down and may always be that way. But your parents would want you to move forward and be happy. Of course, you’re going to miss them, they were wonderful people and loved you guys so much. But I don’t think they’d expect you to spend the rest of your days sad. Celebrate them. Live as if they’re still here, because in your hearts, they are.”
I don’t know how she always knows what I need to hear. Maybe it’s a gift women are just naturally given at birth. Or because she knows me so well. Possibly both. Regardless, I’m scared I’m going to mess up. That I’ll do the wrong thing, or not enough, to take care of my siblings. That despite trying my hardest to keep our family together, I won’t be able to.
Unable to say anything, I just hold her and realize though she’s tiny compared to me, she is my strength. With her next to me, my worries don’t seem so big. We stay that way until Riley reminds us we need to go, and that she needs money for clothes.
As the four of us walk out, Ember and Riley to her car, Camden and I to mine, I swear I hear my dad say, “Well done, son. Well done.”
**Ember**
Riley and I have been shopping for an hour or so at this point, and we’ve made a good dent in what she needs. I’ve noticed her eyeing more grown-up styles and I remember being her age and wanting so badly to be seen as more than a kid.
She was a little shy when it came to purchasing bras and underwear, but I assured her she can always talk to me about anything. Plus, I reminded her I’ve been where she is, so if anyone understood it would be me.
“It’s hard being the only girl. And the youngest,” she admits as we sit on a bench for a quick breather.
“It would be,” I agree. “But you know those three would do anything for you, right?” She nods immediately, though it doesn’t come off that confidently.
“What’s going on, Riley? Maybe I can help.”
“I saw Adam kiss you.”
I barely refrain from asking where, implying there’s been numerous occurrences, which there has, and instead reply with, “He did. Is that okay?”
“Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“We are,” I answer honestly.
“But you weren’t before?”
“No. We were, and still are, best friends, but we realized we love each other in a different way, too. Does that bother you?” She shakes her head, but I can tell something is.
