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He leans over and wipes the tears from my eyes with his thumbs. “I love you.” he whispers as his lips press against my temple.
My eyes snap open to find the room shrouded in inky darkness. The lights above the snake tanks have been turned off, making me wonder if Creed came in and that’s what woke me up.
My heart hammers wildly in my chest thinking about how real that damn dream felt.I would do anything to feel his touch again.I rub my hands down my face and find my eyelashes are wet. I must have been crying in my sleep. Wouldn’t be the first time since I lost them. I curl up into a ball and close my eyes again. Tomorrow is a new day. It has to start getting easier eventually if I keep sleeping and waking up, right?
***
Sweat drips down my brow as Creed yells, "Again."
"No," I snap, ripping the boxing gloves from my hands and throwing them in his direction. Every day my anger grows to the point that I feel like an atomic bomb ready to detonate. I tried to connect with Creed last night but after my dream I’m just angry again. It’s a never-ending cycle I can’t seem to get out of.
I hate looking at them, hearing them and damn it, I hate smelling them. Forgiveness just isn't something I can manage. How could they have so easily killed their brothers? Has their humanity been stripped from them so deeply that they can no longer understand a sense of family? I'm quickly realising this is my "team" now and I just have to deal with it. Deep down I know this is all Mr. Z's doing and he needs to be taken down.
"Are you ready to spread their ashes yet?" He asks, coming closer. His question comes out of left field and knocks the air from my lungs. I know we share a bond; one where he can feel my emotions and his presence unnervingly calms me, yet every time I look at him, all I can see is Laughn staring back at me.
"I can't," I whisper.
I’m just not ready yet. Being here and seeing everyone involved hurts. I can’t escape them at home, or at school and now I have to train with them.
The large double doors to the gym at the training facility open and Kai walks in. My brain is a jumbled mess trying tounderstand what I’m looking at. He’s wearing a pair of quick dry shorts and a button up business shirt, long white socks and crocs.
"Just no." I say taking him in and shaking my head. "Go before my eyes need to be bleached."
He looks down at his choice of clothes. "Oh. Do you not like my outfit?" He asks as he strikes a pose.
I chuckle as I flip him off and Creed takes my hand while I'm caught off guard. "Tenshi o yurushite."
My body locks up from the unwanted emotions coursing through me at the feel of his skin against mine. "Forgive you...You killed your brothers."
The doors open again, causing us all to look over as Trace walks in. He also gives Kai a once over and rolls his eyes. Creed and I turn back at the same time. His beautiful forest green eyes sparkle with fury and turn deadly at the thought of me not forgiving him. He stalks towards me and I step backwards. I want to think he wouldn't hurt me but look how that turned out for Laughn and the others.
My back hits the gym wall and Creed locks me in. "You need to get over it. This is our world. We are the predators, and you best remember that. Our brothers may not have had a chance to show you what we do, but you need to trust us or you'll die out there."
I laugh like a crazy person, hysterics kicking in. Clearly our moment last night was just that, a moment. "Do you think death scares me Creep? Newsflash, it doesn’t. Up until a few weeks ago I didn't even remember any of you. My life was a shit show, then I got my memories back. All the emotions from that are thrown into overdrive and then you rip out five pieces of my heart. How can I recover from that?" Tears roll down my face as agony tears through me. I want to keep my armour up, but it's easier said than done.
"I don't know Tenshi,” he mutters as his eyes soften. “I just know what it's like to lose your heart and I don't wish that darkness upon you. Don't let it take your soul."
"I have to get ready for school…" I look over Creed's shoulders to Kai. "Can you take me home?" He nods and Creed steps aside letting me walk away.
5
Jolie
My life has become just like Groundhog Day. I go to school, try to avoid everyone, go to training and try to pretend that I don’t want to kill my team. I rotate spending time sleeping in Laughn’s and Boston's beds. I haven't had the guts to venture to the other guys' houses. Marlow lived with his grandmother, Case with his mum but he was very secretive about her and Davis–well his house I don’t have a good memory of. Plus, I know Trace is living there and being around him is the hardest.
“That’s it!” Sinclair snaps, grabbing my arm and pulling me into my form classroom. I look around at what I thought would be an empty room and find Jimmie, Kai, Danika and her are all staring at me.
“What?” I ask with a pointed look.
“We understand you went through something traumatic, but we refuse to be shut out. It’s been a few weeks now and we're done.” Jimmie demands.
“We’re your friends and we are worried about you.”
“I miss going to parties,” Danika adds, making me laugh.At least she’s honest.Sinclair cuts her a look. “What? You said we had to tell her how we feel and if she wants to mope around and mourn guys that treated her like shit, that's on her. But we’re,” she holds out her arms motioning to everyone in the room, “missing out on prime parties because she's our ticket in.”
“Um, you know Kai can get you invites right?” I point out and watch as Danika whips her head around to face Kai with a disbelieving look on her face.
“Will you all focus please? I don’t even know why I bother. Clearly your friends are disposable to you.” Sinclair huffs and goes to storm out of the room. This time I grab her arm, stopping her in her tracks.
