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Now we’ve toured the whole house, and I can’t begin to fathom how much it’s going to cost to renovate. Everything is going to have to be replaced, from big things like appliances and cabinetry and the roof to cosmetic details like paint and decorations. It’s so outdated in here I don’t think anyone would want to buy it if it was put on the market.
“I stand by the fact that they should just demolish it,” Colin says as we step onto the covered front porch. The rain pounds the tin roof overhead, and it’s coming at a bit of a slant, so Colin has to raise his voice slightly to be heard. “Pretty sure the cigarette smoke is now forever engrained in my nose. Either I’ll lose my sense of smell altogether or I’m just gonna smell that for the rest of my life, so that’s nice.”
Luka slides his hands into the pockets of his black Lululemon shorts, leaning a shoulder against one of the two pillars supporting the porch’s roof. “I agree. It reeked in there. Can that even be removed?”
“Hopefully so,” Seth says. “It’s pretty bad, I’ll give you that.”
For some reason, I became immune to it once we got to the second bedroom. It might be because I accidentally bumped into Seth’s back when he stopped short—let’s just say that Marie Smith’s collection of porcelain dolls stunned all of us—and I got a nice inhale of Seth’s masculine cologne or body wash or whatever it was. Aftershave? I don’t know. All I know is that it smells a heck of a lot better than stale cigarette smoke.
But I’m not about to say that aloud, so we’ll just have to keep it between us, okay?
“I agree that the house is in bad condition, but once everything is cleared out it’ll make a big difference.” As always, Seth is the voice of reason. Sometimes I wonder if anything stumps the man. I’m willing to bet he doesn’t forget how to spellthelike I do sometimes. “That said, Jenna works full time and my job isn’t a 9-5, Monday through Friday, so we’re just going to have to figure out when it’s best to start working. There’s no time limit on the project and we’ve got a decent budget since we won’t have to hire out much of the work. If everyone could text their work schedules to the group chat I started, we can go from there. Are you guys mostly open on the weekends?”
“My dad works on Saturdays, so it’s only me,” Mazzy says. She darts a glance at her car as thunder rumbles. “But I really need to go because our dog hates thunderstorms. I don’t want her to freak out.”
I believe her, but a glance at Seth tells me he thinks there’s another reason she’s so anxious to leave. That’s one difference between Seth and me. Even though it’s bit me in the butt before, I tend to see the best in people. Seth, from what I’ve noticed, sometimes sees the worst in them. I mean, I get it. I don’t know a lot about what he’s seen—only what he’s told me, which isn’t much—but twelve years on the police force has probably not helped him in the optimism department. I have a feeling they don’t include “adds optimism and faith in humanity to your life” in a police officer’s job description.
I still stand by the statement that he was made for his job.
“Before any of you go,” Seth says, and I’m pretty sure Mazzy wants to glare but she doesn’t, “I have another thing I want you to do. Text your work schedules and any other activities we’ll have to work aroundandsend at least one idea for what we could do to the house. It can be a paint color or a design piece or whatever, but I want this to be a team project. I’m going to set up a meeting with Wynn and Marshall Bryant—they own Bryant Bros. Construction, and their parents own the Serendipity Inn—just to get a little insight on floorplan and materials and such. That sound good?”
“Can we send pictures if we find them?” Alessia asks, her hands folding the cuffs of her sweatshirt nervously. She darts a quick glance at the other teens before peering up at Seth. “Like from a magazine or something, I mean.”
I just want to wrap the poor girl up in a big hug and tell her she’s okay. Maybe it’s my maternal instincts or because she’s had a nervous look in her brown eyes ever since we got here, but I think she needs someone she can trust, and suddenly I want to be that person. I don’t know where the urge comes from, but I’d love nothing more than to ask her how she’s really doing and what her life is really like and what I can do to turn her frown upside down.
But then Jade’s words drift into my mind, making me swallow.Just help me with this one thing, Jen. I know it’ll help me. I promise.Except that it didn’t, and my urge to comfort Alessia gets buried again under the layers of self-doubt I’ve built up in the duration of the last ten years. I know what happened wasn’t my fault, I do, but I think a small part of me will always feel guilty for not seeing the signs before it was too late.
“Of course,” Seth says. “Any and all ideas are welcome. Feel free to text them or bring them with you when we meet with Wynn and Marshall. After I have everyone’s schedules, we can figure out the best times to work on the house. Are there any other questions before we go?”
Luka looks like he wants to say something, but then he simply shakes his head like the other three teens. I admit it; I had him pegged as the partier of the group, but if the past half hour is any indication, I’m wrong. He could easily be putting on a show, of course. I just don’t think he is. Sure, he drives a lifted black Jeep and has star quarterback and popular kid written all over his pretty appearance, but I sense there’s more to Luka than meets the eye. As with all four of these kids. I don’t love that I already feel so invested in them, and it’s only been one short meeting. It’ll probably take the rest of the summer before this house gets done, considering we have to work around everyone’s schedules, and Seth’s is so erratic.
Every single one of my instincts is screaming at me to tell Seth I can’t do this after the teens are gone, but then the part of me—thetiny, almost unexplainable part who cares for these kids—reminds me that this isn’t the same as it was ten years ago.
Also, Alessia rode with Seth, so I’d have to either back out through text or over the phone or have him stop by my house, and I’m not a fan of those options.
A low rumble of thunder punctuates a lightning strike as Seth dismisses the group, but he touches my arm when I smile and try to go by him. I swallow as I glance up at him, and he gives the slightest shake of his head before turning his attention to Alessia. How I’m able to understand that he wants to talk to me, I have no idea, but somehow I just know it.
And kind of dread it.
“Alessia, I need to talk to Jenna for a minute. I think the rain’s let up a little, so if you want to head to the truck I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He pulls his keys from the pocket of his jeans and passes them to the teen. “You can turn it on if you want to. I don’t have XM or anything, but there’s a radio if you want to have background noise.”
Alessia looks down at the keys in her palm and the look of awe on her face nearly breaks my heart. I know Seth said all four of these teens have had some run-in with the law, but I can’t imagine Alessia doing anything illegal. I agree that she’s very obviously hurting, but of the four, she speaks the least. Luka’s quiet but observant, Colin could care less about what comes out of his mouth or if it offends someone, and Mazzy is like a blend of the two boys, but Alessia? She’s different.
She reminds me of my younger self, and quite frankly, that terrifies me. The idea of opening up to Seth is enough to make me want to Zen out with a nice soothing yoga session, but thinking of offering advice to this girl makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Other than my kids, I don’t know how to mentor someone else. And I’m pretty sure Ella and Eli teach me more than I teach them, so I don’t even know if that’s an example I can use.
“Why do you trust me with these?” Alessia whispers, never looking up from the keys in her hand. “After what I did at the grocery store that one time, I mean.”
Seth doesn’t act like the question surprises him, nor does he snatch the keys up from her. “You promised me you’d never do anything like that again, didn’t you?”
She nods.
“Okay, then I’m choosing to trust that you meant it.” He shrugs and glances out at his truck. “If you decide to up and leave in my truck, there’ll be repercussions. You know that, and I know that. But I’m going to believe what you told me and trust that you’ll stand by your words.”
There’s a momentary gap of silence and I watch as Alessia slowly meets Seth’s gaze, gives another almost imperceptible nod, and then hops off the porch. She pulls the hood of her worn gray sweatshirt over her head and jogs over to the truck, pressing the unlock button on the fob before getting in the passenger side. It starts a second later, and even through the rain, I can see her lean over to turn on the radio.
Unfortunately, this leaves only Seth and myself on the porch, and I’m all too aware of how small this porch is because of all the junk piled onto it. But I ignore it (or try to) and force myself to meet his gaze with a bubbly smile on my lips.
“I noticed you looked a little nervous today,” he says casually, eyes assessing me in that way he always does. The bubbly smile I worked so hard for? Yeah, it’s gone. “You sure you’re good with helping us out? I don’t want to trigger anything if it can be prevented.”
