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“If you could do anything in the world—and I mean absolutelyanything—what would it would be?” I didn’t give myself time to think over the question before I asked it, but I do want to hear their answers. I glance at each of them. “Seriously. If nothing or no one was holding you back, what would you do?”
To my amazement, Mazzy doesn’t hesitate. “I would be a midwife, and I’d travel to a less fortunate country once a year for like a month to deliver babies free of charge, because I know they can’t afford it. And their mortality rates are high because of it.”
And there it is—the soft, feminine side of Mazzy hardly anyone ever gets to witness. Most of the time her red curls and nose piercing and tattoos make her seem tough and maybe a little intimidating. But what she just said means there’s a softer side of Mazzy to be discovered.
“That sounds like a wonderful dream, Mazzy,” I tell her. There’s an idea simmering in the back of my mind, but I can’t quite put my finger on it yet, so I turn to Alessia. “And what about you?”
Alessia’s gaze darts to meet mine before she looks down at her cookie—which she’s yet to take a bite of—and shrugs. “Oh, I don’t really have a…dream.”
“Everyone has a dream, but not everyone acknowledges their dream.”
I look up in surprise at Seth’s voice—and, honestly, the quote—just in time to see him and the boys come down the steps off the deck. Funny, I was so caught up in my conversation with the girls I didn’t even hear the door open and close. I wonder how long they were standing there.
“I, for instance, decided early on that I wanted to be a cop,” he continues, snagging a cookie and lowering onto one of the buckets. Luka takes the other one and Colin plops into the chair beside Mazzy’s. “Which, to some, probably wouldn’t be considereddreaming, but what a lot of people don’t understand is that the word dream does not translate togrand.There’s nothing wrong with big dreams, but it doesn’t matter the size of your dreams so long as you’re doing what you want and making a positive impact.”
His words add something to that inkling of an idea, but I’m still puzzled on what, exactly, it is.
“I want to be an architect,” Alessia says, almost so quietly I didn’t hear her. “But it’ll probably never happen.”
“Why not?” Seth raises his brows, clearly expecting an answer.
Alessia shifts uncomfortably. “Because, well…you know.”
“No. I don’t know. Let me let all of you in on a little secret.” Seth pauses, looks at each of us to assure we’re listening (he probably doesn’t realize that I’m more attentive to his words every time I see him than I am to the weather), and then goes on. “Now, I’m not trying to put anyone down if they’re wealthy because money is not a bad thing, but as someone who was raised by multimillionaires for part of my life, it’s also not everything. I didn’t have my way paid and spend my nights out on the town or dating around in college. I didn’t just have my degree and my job handed to me. And I sure as hell didn’t expect anything to just fall into my lap because I—” he makes air quotes with his fingers “— ‘deserved it.’ I got to where I am today by hard work and never giving up. And believe me, I know what it’s like to start from ground zero. My aunt and uncle basically cut me off when I told them I was pursuing a career in law enforcement. I still have student loans I’m paying, and I don’t know if I’ll ever know why they were so against my choice, but here’s my two cents: If you want something, don’t ever sell yourself short. And yes, I have a degree. Do I need it? No. I have some guys on my team that only went to police training and they’re excellent at their jobs. The bottom line is that anyone who tries to limit you is probably jealous of you. And I guess it’s their choice if they want to overcome that, just like you have to decide how long you’ll stay in the shadows of your uncertainties. It’s all up to you.”
Huh. Apparentlymotivational speakeris a subcategory of Police Chief. Who would’ve thunk?
“I’m going to start my undergrad in August, and then eventually go to law school,” Luka says with a shake of his head. “Gotta keep the family legacy of lawyers alive by being the fifth Porter son as an attorney, you know? But honestly, I could care less about working at my dad’s high-level firm, money and all. I want to, uh…”
“You can say it, Luka,” I tell him quietly, hoping my smile is compassionate. “This is a safe place.”
Luka blows out a breath. “I want to be a cop.”
I don’t let my surprise show, but Seth can’t seem to do the same. He recovers quickly, of course, but I saw it. I saw the way a tinge of awe laced his expression when Luka said he wants to be a cop. And whether he ever acknowledges it or not, I know Seth feels very strongly about seeing these kids succeed. The way he reaches over and claps Luka on the shoulder with a nod conveying more than words ever could proves that.
“And you?” Seth asks Colin, hand still resting on Luka’s shoulder. I don’t know if Seth realizes it, but he’s already made an impact on these kids in the short time we’ve been a group. “We know about everyone else. Might as well know what you want to do.”
Colin scoffs, his dark eyes stormy. “Maybe I don’t know.”
“Maybe you do,” Seth counters, undeterred. “Like Jenna said, this is a safe place. You can share it with us.”
The teen hesitates, and for a moment, I think he’s going to cave. But then he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. Why don’t we just get back to work? The house ain’t gonna fix itself. I didn’t agree to do this project so we could have little heart-to-hearts over Gatorade and cookies.”
With that, Colin jerks out of his chair and disappears into the house, the door slamming behind him.
“He’s right,” Mazzy says, all tenderness gone as she stands. “I’m not here for that either. If I wanted to be preached to, I’d go find a church.”
And just like that, the little glimmer of hope I saw in Seth’s eyes goes out like a candle doused by frigid water as Mazzy, followed gingerly by Luka and Alessia, goes inside. Leaving Seth and I alone under the maple tree, both of us silent as we digest what just happened. Every time I feel like we’re making progress with the teens, it’s more like one step forward and three steps backward. I can’t stand the way they take the words I know can’t be easy for Seth to say and just throw them back at him like they mean nothing.
Oh.
“You know what just happened wasn’t your fault, right?” I say, suddenly aware that’s exactly what Seth thinks. If, of course, the hard glint in his eyes as he stares at the back door of Marie’s house is any indication. “Because it’s not. You weren’t being preachy. You were telling them the truth.”
“Maybe I wasn’t.” His words are dark, filled with a plethora of emotions I can’t begin to dissect. He slowly rises to his feet and rubs a hand over the five o’ clock shadow on his jaw. “Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut? Now all four of them are upset, and I can’t blame them for it.”
“Now hold on just a second.” My voice is firmer than I expected as I stand, moving right up into his face. Well. Kind of. As in-his-face as I can be when I’m nearly a foot shorter than him. But the details are unimportant. “You have every right to say exactly what you did to those kids, and if they aren’t strong enough to take it like it is, they’ll be in for a rude awakening when they have to step into the real world.”
“That’s just it though, Jenna.” As if a flip was switched, the authority drains from his tone, leaving behind a melancholy inflection. His sobered blue eyes meet mine, and it’s then that I realize what he means mere seconds before he says it. “They’ve seen too much of thereal worldin their lives. For once I’d love to see them dream a little, feel a little. The problem isn’t that they’ll have problems with reality when they step into the real world, it’s that they won’t be able to see anything other than the harshness and bitterness in people. And that’s what I’m afraid of.”
