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Ella squeals and tries to squirm out of my arms, but I’m too strong for her. She gives up the fight within twenty seconds by putting her tiny arms around my neck and resting her head on my chest.
This does not affect me, in case you were wondering. Not one bit. Neither do the looks Marshall and Jess are pointing at me.
And especially not the way Jenna’s staring at us, something like longing in her pretty eyes. No, I’m not above admitting she’s a beautiful woman, because I do have eyes and I am a man. I’m well aware of how gorgeous she is, from her petite frame to her honey-colored hair that, like now, is almost always put up in a messy bun on the top of her head to her sparkling greenish-blue eyes. I definitely don’t notice the way her yellow sundress fits her, or the fact that the spaghetti straps leave her shoulders exposed, though. And it’s not like I’m aware of the fact that she somehow manages to be an amazing mom, work, take care of every other responsibility, and do yoga every day of the week either.
If anyone is the superhero here, it’s Jen. By comparison, I’m a peasant.
Well, maybe not quite. I tend to not take any BS and be just a little bit stubborn, so it’s not like I’m a pushover. I’ll put it how Marshall’s little sister, an avid bookworm and seriously hopeless romantic, has explained it to me before:
Jenna is the sunshine one who somehow sends everyone a beautiful smile and stays endlessly optimistic despite the hell she’s been through.
I, Seth, am the grumpy one who apparently closes everyone out with my storm cloud-like (what I like to callrealistic) outlook on life.
So, considering I’ve never fully bought into the whole opposites attract thing, that is proof Jen and I will never be more than friends. Mark my words. Put it on your calendar. Do whatever you’ve got to do to remind yourself of that.
And while you’re at it, don’t forget to remind me too.
Chapter Three
Jenna
I’m pretty sure it’s hardwired into women to swoon when an attractive man is entertaining your kids and they’re lapping up the attention like dogs starved for water, because there is no other logical reason for me to feel these warm fuzzies every time I see Seth interact with Ella and Eli. And considering he’s been a pretty steady figure in their lives—and mine—for three years now, there’s been a decent amount of interactions.
Tonight, however takes the cake. The birthday cake! It takes the sinfully delicious angel food cake with homemade whipped cream and fresh strawberries from Marshall’s older sister’s backyard that Jess made today. Simply because Seth, one of the most masculine men I know, is currently sporting the pink birthday cone hat, doused in gold glitter, that Ella made for him today at Alice’s house as if it doesn’t faze him one bit. I mean, the man looks too good in his uniform, but this?
The cone on Seth’s head is a reminder to me that there are good men out there. It just sort of stinks that the man I chose to marry and bring two children into the world with is not quite one of them. Maybe every man should be held up to the Glittery Pink Cone Challenge I totally did not just make up.
If they can wear one with as much confidence as Seth has for the past two hours, they pass. What, exactly, I’m not sure. But it has to be worth something.
Following the surprise that didn’t quite go as planned—I would’ve really loved to see Seth’s reaction on video when he walked into the laundry room like we were planning for. Seriously, Jess had my phone on a tripod and everything. But anyway, after Seth finally understood what was happening, we sat down at the table on his back porch to enjoy the burgers Marshall picked up on his way over. You’d think I would be tired of Farm to Table’s food because I work there, but that is not the case. I think their burgers could make the grumpiest person alive happy, even if only for a few minutes.
Since he’d yet to change out of his uniform, Seth excused himself to take a quick shower and change while Jess and I cleaned up and Marshall entertained the kids by giving them horsey rides in the small living room. Though he wasn’t crowned with a bedazzled cone, the way he is with Ella and Eli proves he is going to be just as amazing of a father as Jess will be a mother. The fact that they have a love story worthy of its own romance novel alone is enough to make it obvious the two of them were practically destined to be together. I mean, first they were best friends for over twenty years andthenMarshall was able to hide the fact that he was in love with Jess for over a year, ten months of which she was gone in Paris. If that, coupled with their determination to be the person the other needs, doesn’t screamhappily ever after, I have no idea what will.
When Seth came back out twenty minutes later in shorts and a T-shirt (one that definitely doesn’t hug his tone upper body) Ella crowned him as the birthday king, then we started in on the games. Marshall, Jess, and Seth really are incredible, because I’m pretty sure a lot of adults wouldn’t spend their evening willingly playing Duck-Duck-Goose, Go Fish, and Chutes and Ladders just for the fun of it. Well, Marshall’s family probably would. I don’t know them super well, but I know the Bryant family means the world to Seth and Jess, and every time I have been around them they’ve been nothing but welcoming and kind.
Now we’re all settled in a circle in the living room, playing what’s probably the twentieth round of Go Fish.
“Ooh, sorry, El, but you’re gonna have togo fish,” Marshall says, mock apology in his expression as he regards Ella.
Ella huffs out a slightly overdramatic sigh—probably because it’s almost bedtime and she’s getting tired, though I know she’ll deny that statement. Then she draws a card and squeals as she places a pair of whales on the floor in front of her crisscross-applesauce legs. “I got it, anyway! Mommy, do you see?”
“I do see,” I say with a smile, but I’m actually trying not to yawn. “Good job, sweetheart. I think you’re probably gonna beat all of us.”
“Oh, it’s not over yet, thank you very much.” Jess glances at her brother, who was conveniently placed next tomein our little circle. Couldn’t he have been sandwiched between Jess and Ella or something? “Seth, my dear brother, do you happen to have a shark?”
Seth sighs even more dramatically than Ella and drops his chin to his chest as he extends the card towards his sister, and the antics make both of my children giggle with delight. Eli decided about twenty minutes ago that he wasn’t interested in the game anymore (and I’m the lucky one who inherited his four cards.) He’s been camping out on Seth’s lap because, apparently, he finds that it’s a comfy place to hang out. I’m trying to ignore the fact that he’s simply sitting there, content to run his toy car up and down Seth’s tan, muscled forearm.
Why do I find this so endearing? I don’t really want to find Seth’s ease with my children anything other than kind, and I know he extends kindness to almost everyone. He’s just that good of a guy to the point it doesn’t bother him having Cheerio-size tires making a path on his arm. Eli has tried to use my arm as a track before, so I know those little cars pull mercilessly at the hair on an arm. So, then, why is Seth letting him do it? To prove he’s so strong it doesn’t bother him?
I doubt it. Seth is far stronger than me, yes, but he doesn’t gloat about it. He doesn’t gloat about anything. He’s this big steady boulder. But not a lump of a boulder.Noo, he’s a perfectly chiseled Seth Johnson edition of Mount Rushmore, from his thick dark hair and broad shoulders to his square jaw and lean body. For whatever reason, God decided to send a super-attractive man who can literally be deemed a hero thanks to his profession into my life after Pete left. I know how I say that God’s always there for me, and he is, but sometimes I find his sense of humor just a little bit annoying. Why couldn’t he have dropped someone like, I don’t know, a Chris Farley into my life? Yes, I’m aware he’s been dead for several decades, but someone like him would’ve been a much safer option. I’m only guessing here, but I’m sure he would’ve been kind and Iknowhe’d have been able to crack funny jokes. I just wouldn’t feel ridiculous flutters in my stomach like I do every time Seth looks at me.
It’s like his ocean blue eyes can see past any defenses I have, and I don’t like it. I already fell for one attractive guy, and we all know how that ended. Now it’s not only my heart to consider, but also my kids’, and I won’t be reckless. If—that’s an all caps, italicizedIF—I ever allow a man back into our lives, it will be someone who can make me smile and laugh but he doesn’t make me forget my name when he kisses me or make my heart beat an extra time when he flies Ella and Eli around like airplanes. I’m sure there are plenty of nice men out there who are good-looking but not over-the-top attractive who’ll be a good fit for our lives someday. We just haven’t met him yet, but considering I’m only twenty-eight and I’d like to live until at least 102, I like to think I have plenty of time left to find…Allen. I don’t know if he will really be named that and don’t know if I even want him to be, but it’s on the other end of the alphabet fromSeth, so maybe my brain neurons will take the hint that I am in no way, shape, or form interested in the man sitting next to me. If I’m thinkingAlleninstead ofSeth,surely the Universe will take that into consideration. It sounds like a really solid plan to me, anyway.
Now that that’s clarified, I try to refocus on the present, which is probably a good thing because Seth nudges my shoulder. But because I’m thinkingAllen,I don’t feel the hairs on my arms raise when Seth says “it’s your turn” in that smooth but slightly gravelly voice of his.
“Uh…” I glance at the cards in my hand, then at Jess, since she has four of them. “Jess, do you have a fish?”
Jess’s eyes, which are two shades darker than her brother’s, widen. “Wait, what? Did you just ask if I have aSeth??”
