AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You know they have these amazing things these days called mobile phones that let you call people?”
“You’re hilarious. I know we could use our phones, but I thought it might be fun to use radios. Dad will love it. He’s always talking about going backpacking and hunting for his food and building shelters and things like that. He misses his old adventures with his mates, I think.”
He drank a mouthful of beer. “I think we all pine for a little adventure at times.”
“You’re right. All these years, I thought I was happy. That there was nothing missing from my life. But I’m beginning to realise I was settling for what I thought was best for everyone else in my life. I put aside what I wanted and instead focused on my husband and children. Now that they’re gone, I have no idea how to be me anymore.” She laughed, but inside she felt emptied out, and there was a dull pain in her chest.
“You’re still in there. You haven’t really changed,” Aidan said softly.
“I suppose that’s true. Although I feel pretty lost.”
“Not surprising, given the circumstances. And your family isn’t gone. They’re in a different season of life, but they’re still around. I bet they miss you too.”
She swallowed as she met Aidan’s gaze. His eyes were soft, and his mouth curled up at one corner into a half smile. Their history was full of memories, laughter, adventure and fun. But there was heartache as well. She’d given up on him when her mother died. And then he’d walked away without explanation to play football.
She felt herself getting sucked back into his orbit. It seemed impossible to be around him without wanting to be closer, to spend more time in his presence, to know him more. But she couldn’t do that.
She was still married, even if they were separated. She didn’t know what the future held or how her life would look a month from now, let alone a year. And with Aidan, there was no such thing as a simple relationship — no matter how appealing that might sound.
“I hope they miss me. Although, I have to figure out who I am now without them in my life on a daily basis. Dani is still here, and we’re planning on living in the cottage together. But I get the distinct feeling that she really only needs a rest and some time out from the stress of the city life, and she’ll be headed back there again before too long.”
“Has she said that?” Aidan asked.
“No, but I know her pretty well. I think she’s exhausted and she’s putting too much pressure on herself. She’s in the wrong degree program, and she hates to make mistakes or fail. But I’ll have a talk with her and get her thinking about other options. She’s going to be fine.”
He smiled. “You’re a good mum.”
“I used to think so.”
“You are. Your kids are lucky to have you.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’m going to take a shower and will be ready to go in a few minutes.” She stood to her feet and busied herself tidying up the outdoor table, moving coasters around and throwing leaves and sticks away. She didn’t want him to see the tears in her eyes.
Her husband rarely said anything positive about her role as wife and mother. He didn’t seem to value the one thing she’d put all her energy into. Having Aidan tell her she was a good mother meant more to her than she could express. But she didn’t want to cry in front of him.
Instead, she’d go out to dinner with some old friends — she’d laugh and have a good time and forget all about the fact that her marriage of a quarter of a century was over and that her husband had started a new secret family that didn’t include her or their children.
Thirteen
Aidan wasn’t exaggeratingabout the drive to the Blue Shoal Inn. The road was narrow and unpaved, and recent rain had left it with enormous potholes that the four-wheel drive had to crawl through.
Bea held onto the handle above the passenger door for dear life. “How does anyone ever make it to the inn alive?”
Aidan laughed. “Mostly they catch a boat or fly in. There’s a small landing strip close to the village.”
“So, people don’t use this track?”
“Only locals. I’m surprised you don’t remember it.”
“Vaguely, and I don’t recall it being quite this wild.”
“It was always this bad, but kids tend not to remember the worst of things. They’re called rose-coloured glasses for a reason.”
She grimaced as they bounded into a new pothole. “I think you’re right. I can’t remember much other than the sand, the sun and the waves. We had so much fun in the ocean back then, it was almost all I thought about. Besides the sadness, of course.”
