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They turn to look at me and I can’t do anything. Then I glance at the notebook in my hands. I can spell out a name. What do I call him?
He’s been here a long time, so it should be an old name. I point to four letters.
“T-H-E-O.” Talon sounds out. “Is that a name?”
I sigh. It was my grandfather’s name. He died before I was born, but according to Gran, he was one of those people who could do anything he set his mind to. With no way to explain, I nod and smile.
Michael and Joe test it out.
“Does it matter it’s not actually my name? What if by not knowing my real name, I will never find that part of me?” He seems almost panicked.
“Any name is better than no name,” Michael says.
“You can be Theo. You just need to find out who he is.” Joe shrugs. “It’s not like the name Joe means anything to me, but I guess it’s better than Tail.”
Theo says the name a few times as though testing it, then he adds Talon to the end. “I will be Theo Talon. Do you think it’s okay to name myself?”
I nod and so does Michael.
“Okay, great. We all have human names like we’re real people. Now can we get back to me. What happened in there?” Joe taps the notebook with a claw.
I flick back to the page where he wrote about liking Michael, not that Joe called him that. I cover the page with my hand and shake my head. Then I fold it over so when Theo goes back to the start, he can skip over it. He takes the book from my hands.
It’s a little unnerving to see the book held in claws and very little else.
He begins on the first page, reading smoothly, only stumbling occasionally.
I watch him. If I squint a little, I think I can make out the shape of something within the shadow. But the moment I focus too hard, he seems to shift, and I lose it. I’m sure he knows I’m studying him, but he keeps reading.
Joe is motionless as he listens, which is strange for him.
I expect Michael to be quiet and still.
When Theo skips the page, Michael’s head lifts. “Why did you skip that one?”
“Because it’s private,” Talon says. “I will read it to Ta…to Joe later. If he wants me to.”
Joe grimaces as though clearly torn between the need to know and the not wanting Theo to know everything about him. “I’ll think about it. Read on.”
It’s not Theo’s reading that gets worse, but Joe’s ability to put his thoughts on paper. When he is done reading, no one says anything. Michael stares at the ground. Joe’s eyes are closed. Even though I read it before, it hurt more to hear it.
Theo hands the book back to me.
After several breaths, Joe uncoils, sliding Theo and me off. “Well, that was a delightful bedtime story. I think it’s time we all get some rest.”
I bite my lip, knowing that wasn’t the plan. When I look up at him, he shakes his head. “Sleep in the cave with Michael. Theo, can you read me the last page?”
“Sure.” He holds out his claws for the book and I hand it back.
Then I leave them and walk up to the cave, dismissed.
Michael takes a moment before following. He pauses to say something to Joe, and for a moment it looks like he’s going to put a hand on his shoulder, but stops at the last second. The gesture is so human that it gives me hope that not everything is lost. That book may do a better job than me.
I take a seat in the dark, knowing that while I need to rest, it will not come easy.
They don’t need me.
They could leave me here and reach the spire faster.
