Page 32 of Hardest Hearts


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Michael sets me down in time to see Joe flick the monster over the edge where we sat last night. He taps his tail twice, then it comes up empty.

The robe flaps around me. Michael’s blood drips onto the ground. Joe is lying on the ground, his newly grown legs grazed and bleeding from the fight.

I sense Theo behind me. Every time I blink, I see him eat that monster whole. I imagine myself disappearing into his mouth, gone in a single swallow.

“I don’t think we should allow ourselves to be so distracted again. We can’t all change at the same time. Someone always needs to be on watch,” he says. His voice is the same as always, like nothing happened.

I’m too scared to turn around and look at him.

Michael nods. “Agreed.”

17

Joe

Everything below my waist is burning. The pain is an echo of when I lost my legs and grew a tail—though it was much smaller then. There are gouges in my scales from that fucker I tossed over the edge, and I can’t figure out how to stand up. I’m not sure I want to given the way my legs feel.

Fuck, I wanted my legs back for so long and now I don’t know what to do with them. They are in the way if I try to slither and if I can’t stand, I can’t walk, which means I’m stuck. I close my eyes and force out a breath. The anger bubbles hot in my blood.

I hate that Theo is right. We let our guard down. A stupid mistake.

I lie there waiting for the change to kick in from the fight. Will my legs disappear? Will it be more spikes on my back? The scales creeping higher up my chest. But there’s no fresh burst of pain.

“Are you alright?” Julie holds my hand like I’m dying.

I don’t know what I am. I open one set of eyes. She’s staring down at me with her face full of concern. I wait another heartbeat, then another one. But I don’t feel any other changes happening. “I think I’m okay.”

I prop myself up on my elbow. Why wasn’t I punished for killing the monster? I’ve killed in self-defense before, and the result has been the same as if I killed in anger.

“Why didn’t I change?” I open my other set of eyes and glance at Michael. He has fewer horns, I’m sure of it. But two are bigger, like they’ve merged. Is that a good thing, or not? “Did you get anything from the fight?”

“No.” Michael rubs a hand over his head. “The headache is from before. Theo?”

“I…I don’t know.”

Julie turns. I can smell the sex and fear on her. Something happened between them while I was enjoying the consequences of getting laid.

And Theo is still oversized. “Are you stuck that big?”

“I might be. I ate one of the monsters.” His claws tap together as if he is trying to wring his hands. “I’m sorry. I haven’t eaten in so long and it was already dead and…” He lowers his claws. “I didn’t think.”

“Theo has a body. I saw it,” Julie says softly. “But he is so thin, just skin and bone.”

“When was the last time you ate?” Michael asks as though concerned.

“Before I left the center. The hunger…” he seems to sigh. “All I could think about was killing. Not you, of course.”

I glance at Michael and keep a hold of Julie like I expect Theo to pick her up and eat her. Having a monster from the center with us was always going to be dangerous, but I hadn’t realized he’d been fantasizing about killing and eating.

“So none of us had any negative changes from the fight?” Michael asks.

I shake my head.

“Aside from being big again, no.” Theo lifts his hands as though shrugging.

I don’t like the way he is so big now. He could eat us all, grow even bigger and try to scale the spire all on his own.

“But we all had positive changes?” Michael touches his reduced horns again. “Or at least some change? I’m not sure two bigger horns, but less overall, is positive.”

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