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“I need to turn around. I think there’s more room in the cell.” Michael barges through what’s left of the bars and begins the slow process of turning by backing up, inching around, and backing up again.
I should’ve killed him. If I hadn’t been caught off guard by the change, I would have given it a good try.
What have I become?
Some indecisive half-formed monster that doesn’t belong anywhere near the castle or the queen. What I need is a good fight to put me back to how I was.
Theo’s talons click as he lifts his hands. “Don’t be stupid. You have a choice. The same as we all did. You can stay here, and fight for survival, or come with us and go home.”
“We don’t know him. He could eat us,” Joe hisses.
Theo shrugs, but holds my gaze. “I think if he was going to do that, he’d have done it already.” He gives a lazy yawn, revealing row after row of teeth. “Besides, he knows I’d eat him faster.”
Michael sticks his head out of the hole in the bars. “I’m ready to go now.”
“Go to the spire?” I clarify.
Julie nods. “You know the way?”
I don’t want to take them there. I don’t want to be the one responsible for them dying. Bringing them here was a different matter. The queen wanted Julie because she is dangerous. She needs to change to see the queen. And she has changed, but she has become more human.
More dangerous?
If I take them to the queen. The queen will kill us all.
I nod. What else can I do?
They will go without me, and I need to be there. To protect the queen, or to protect them?
13
Julie
“Before we go, you should have a name like the rest of us.” I smile at the half-man, half-insect monster.
His face is unreadable. He has no mouth, only mandibles, and his eyes are like mirrors reflecting my image. I try not to focus on what a mess I am.
“Why do I need a name?”
“Because names matter,” Joe says. “We don’t know why.”
“They make you feel more like…” Theo lifts his talons as though they can express what he can’t put into words.
“More like a person.” Michael finishes, even though he has become less of a person while we were apart.
The insect man shakes his head. “I am not a person, and I don’t have a name. I am simply a guard.”
“How about Gerrard, the guard,” I say. He has already changed since he caught us. I don’t know what is going on in his head, but something is happening. Does every monster I have dealings with experience some kind of change?
No, the other guard didn’t. He is dead on the ground where Michael left him.
His mandibles move as though he is silently testing out the name. “Very well. If you think it is required, I will be Gerrard.”
Even saying the name aloud makes him flinch.
Joe sighs. “The returning memories are almost worse than the changes. Suck it up, big guy, there’s plenty more where they came from. You’ve got a whole life to remember, and since you’re here, it’s probably not pretty.”
“I haven’t remembered much, so you may not either. It might depend on how long you have been here,” Theo says. “Do remember being brought here?”
